It is generally believed that marriage naturally favours the male gender. From having a home to go to, to having someone carry and bear their offspring, there are many reasons why marriage seems to benefit the menfolk. However, it is safe to say that this belief is slowly fading away as many men claim that they are no longer looking to settle down with one person.
After asking random men questions and hearing their answers, here are ten reasons why men no longer look forward to marriage:
1. Fear of Commitment
Based on recent developments, many men no longer want to be attached to one woman as required within the tenets of marriage. While living single guarantees unending access to different types of women without guilt, marriage requires committing to ONLY one woman. This means spending time, and attention while focusing on one woman only. This may not sound like fun to a man who believes having a new woman to excite him every week or month is the way to go. While staying with one woman may be ideal, new-generation men may find the concept of committing to one challenging. Considering the ‘variety’ lifestyle readily available in the world today, this change does not necessarily come as a surprise.
2. Career Focus
Some men starting a career or hoping to grow in their career at times defer their relationship goals to focus on their career and avoid any distractions. This is to give them the time and focus needed to grow, especially in demanding careers. In light of these strong career goals, spending time to build a relationship would not rank high on their to-do list. This is why relationships for many men take the back burner until they get to their preferred level on the ladder and decide to get a partner to help them in the future.
3. Fear of Financial Responsibilities
Being truly interested in having a partner means knowing the place of money and responsibilities in marriage. Such responsibilities include paying rent for a bigger place, spending money on a big wedding and taking care of school and hospital fees when children come into the picture, there is definitely so much to be expected of a married man. This explains why many men may no longer want to get married especially if they believe they do not have the financial capabilities needed to sustain a marriage. Bills put immense pressure on men financially and the phobia of this pressure can make them decide not to get married.
4. Past Relationship Experiences
Men who have had bad relationships or marriages in the past can be afraid of new commitments. This is due to the trauma of the things they have experienced in their previous relationships. It is however necessary for men with bad relationship experiences to see a counsellor. This step would allow them to heal correctly while also helping them get over any phobia they may have about entering a new relationship.
5. Love for Independence
Accountability remains a vital part of the marriage institution. This means you always have to share details of your actions, plans, whereabouts and more with your significant other. Based on upbringing, some men love their freedom and are not willing to let go of it. This means they are not ready for co-dependence to have successful marriages and relationships. In light of this, marriage is not a good step for them.
6. Divorce Phobia
The current high divorce rate is another reason why some men may not want to marry. The cost of divorce is quite high and many men are not willing to pay such a price. This cost includes financial costs and emotional costs. Financial costs include loss of assets, loss of income due to alimony payment, and loss of time due to the adjoining court process. The emotional costs are heartbreaks, separation from children, and the pain associated with these. Considering how much divorce takes out of affected parties, staying single as a man seems like a better option.
7. Alternative Lifestyle
Some men are comfortable being single and they are really not interested in marriage. As long as they are comfortable with their life choices and are not bothered by the possibility of loneliness, staying unmarried is not a challenge to them.
8. Zero Desire for Children
In many parts of the world, children are considered a success symbol for married couples. As beautiful as the idea of children may be, birthing them comes with so much responsibility that some men are willing to stay without them. This means men who love their freedom and do not want to have children may avoid marriage as having a wife could increase the possibility of having children whether they like it or not. Therefore staying single remains the best way to avoid this conundrum.
9. Lack of Attraction
Men may not be deeply attracted to the women around them or the woman they are in a relationship with. This would mean that they do not want to settle with their current woman but would rather wait for the more attractive option. There are many reasons for this. However, this makes these men uninterested in marriage until the woman who fits their vision of the perfect one shows up. It might take years or decades before this preferred woman shows up which reduces the possibility of getting married to the barest minimum.
This list is not exhaustive as every man is different and unique and the reason they do not want to marry remains unique to them. Others may have multiple concerns and reasons for not wanting to marry. Whatever the reasons are, it is good to discuss your desire for marriage with the man you are in a relationship with. This is to be sure that they share this desire with you and avoid future frustrations.
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