What is the secret glue that holds a marriage together? Love? Sex? Money? Friendship?

Depending on your marital status-single or married, you are likely to finger sex as the answer to the question.

Is sex an intense act of expressing love or a genital meet & greet? Your response may depend on your marital status as unmarried people think all married people do is have sex.

Whether this is right or wrong depends on the parties involved in the relationship. However, sexual relations or simply put, sex in marriage is a major determinant of marital health. An increase, a decrease or a change in the overall experience may help couples gauge their marital temperature correctly.

Don’t think this is not an important part of marriage? think again. Many counsellors and sex therapists spend most of their time identifying reasons for a change in sexual patterns while proferring solutions for couples under pressure to improve in this area. If you are about to be or already married and looking to guess the likely reason for a decrease in coitus, you are in the right place.

Here are five possible reasons why your sex life may not be adding up:

1. Work Stress

The average human spends most of their life working. Your job affects you both positively and negatively. Finding fulfilment in your work makes it easy to see its impact on bedroom matters. Interestingly, it is not easy to draw a straight line from work to a decline in sex within marriage. It is easy to forget how one part of our lives affects the other parts, directly or indirectly. Sex is an act of intimacy that involves both body and soul. Apart from being physically demanding, the quality of sexual relations between a couple depends on their emotional balance as well.

A bad day at work could impact the fulfilment of this marital rite negatively. Focusing on extremely hard work instead of smart work may put you and your partner in an unhealthy sexual position. To curb this, start by reviewing your work pattern. Also, do everything possible to work smart while maintaining a positive mindset during work and at the close of business. Getting home in high spirits will help you put your energy to good use in the bedroom.

2. Bad Nutrition

This is another likely cause of sexual challenges in marriage. The cliche ‘Garbage in, Garbage out‘, helps put this in perspective. A review of how the body interacts with food helps shed light on the role of food in sexual matters. Nutrients such as carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals among other important elements nourish the body and sharpen the mind. Poor eating habits burden your organs and force your body to extract non-existent energy from your cells.

The body receives signals from the brain when certain nutrients are not available. These signals can make your body strip your cells of important nutrients to keep you going. This action could lead to a nutrition deficit or imbalance which leaves you weaker than you should be. What does this mean for the time spent with your partner during sex? Perhaps a reduction or the need to stop abruptly to recoup lost energy. The impact of this on the quality of sex goes without saying. The logical way out is to take a deeper look at your feeding habits. Does your meal have the right balance of vegetables, fruits and other essential elements? Will it nourish the body and soul? Does your food supply the body with the necessary amount of energy it needs to function? Think about it.

3. Wrong Knowledge

According to research, many people learn about sex by watching and interacting with pornographic materials. Invariably, this would mean either of two things: 1. Many people have the wrong idea of what sex should be like 2. Certain unreal expectations may be attached to this important ingredient for marital bonding. It is possible that pornography may have a few good sides. However, pornography makes it easy to see sex as a selfish act or a means to a highly pleasurable end.

How sex is displayed or described in pornographic videos or reading materials makes this so. It is an open secret that stimulants are used to help the actors in pornographic materials get into character. This makes expecting a similar performance from your partner unrealistic. Therefore, counsellors and sex therapists are in the best position to assist couples who want to explore and enjoy sex.

The next reason sheds more light on this point. Keep reading.

4. Poor Communication

Communication goes beyond talking; it involves the use of verbal and non-verbal cues during the exchange of messages. This means partners are bound to pay attention to what is expressed by their significant other. If a couple is not able to clearly express or interpret pleasure or pain, there could be tension. This might make one party endure or avoid sex every chance they get.

Your partner may not enjoy certain acts during sex. Discuss this while preserving the next person’s dignity. That is one way to initiate the move from bad to enjoyable. Also, consider a session with a sex therapist to gain positive knowledge and a deep understanding of your partner’s needs.

5. Personal Hygiene

The parts of the body involved and the exchange of bodily fluids make sex an extremely sensitive and intimate act. This means the difference between good and bad sexual experiences may be (un)cleanliness. If your partner is constantly looking for a cop-out, you may be giving ‘dirty’ vibes that make your partner uncomfortable.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself. Do I smell nice? Does my breath stink? Maybe my nether region needs grooming? Is my pH balanced? Do I need a bath? Are the bedsheets clean? Does my hair smell damp?

Getting the answers to these questions may be a game-changer.

Male or female, you want to show up for the act of lovemaking in your cleanest and most attractive form. This includes paying attention to every part of your body and your smell. A visit to a health expert (like a gynaecologist) may help you get the nether region in order. Remember that the state of your body and smell impacts how sex plays out. Don’t leave this to chance. Do right by your body and raise the bar of the sexual frequency in your relationship.

Any of the above may be a possible reason for poor sexual pleasure. It is important to understand that there may be bad sex days. Shit happens. Having constant bad days every other day is a major cause of concern. If this has become normal in your relationship, address it so your partner does not seek sexual pleasure elsewhere.

Now you know five likely reasons why your sex life may need a fix. The next article gives practical steps to getting your sex life back on track. Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Keep winning!

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Relationships with a spouse come with unique challenges. Living with your spouse within the confines of marriage is a different kettle of fish. This is expected based on the unending nature of forever. However, contrary to what is widely believed, offences usually come from the little things. These little actions do not look harmful at first until they snowball into major issues and water down the strength of the union. Experienced counsellors are able to advise couples to look out for these little actions that can create a big wedge in no time.

Here are five acts that may be driving your spouse nuts:

1. Staying on the Phone

Living in a digital age means relying on your mobile phone for communication and work-related needs. This also means having a strong presence on social media platforms and apps such as Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram and more. The addictive nature of these apps translates to endless scrolling and fear of missing out (FOMO). Though a valid move, it affects valuable couple time and breeds resentment. The way forward is to time your phone use and set it aside after the stipulated minutes or hours. Your relationship will be better for it.

2. Not Giving Enough Compliments

Living with another person demands a measure of tact and maturity. Ensuring your spouse feels good and complete around you is a great way to boost their self-esteem. This means looking for every reason to say good things to them. If you believe your spouse should know how you feel about them, you may be making the wrong impression by your inaction. Also, there may be a tendency to compliment strangers because of the outcomes it provides. The world is already tough enough, taking the initiative to say nice things is a great way to set the right tone in your space.

3. Holding Back Affection

You know the golden rule – love your neighbour as yourself. In this case, your neighbour is your spouse, your second half – the one person who is able to see every side of you yet decides to stay in your life. How you treat them is a pointer to how they might treat you. So if you have ever felt the need to keep sealed lips instead of showering your significant other with ‘accolades’ or kind words, you are wrong. Gentle and sincere words of affection give a whole level of high while taking the next person’s self-esteem up by one notch. What happens if your partner senses unkindness or feels slighted? Your guess is as good as mine. It does not augur well. Make it a culture to be openly affectionate towards your spouse. This will in turn cause them to shower you with love.

4. Buying Presents YOU Like

As a child, did you ever have moments of sulking because you had to eat a meal you did not like so much? Remember how that made you feel? Then you should understand why this is a bad idea. While it is important and thoughtful to give your spouse a gift, it is also necessary to review the reason behind your action. Did you give them that particular present because you believed it was specially made for them or was it a gift of convenience? Thoughtfulness as it concerns gifting is tied to how much the recipient of the gift will like it. So before you consider getting a present for the one you love, find out if it is a gift they would love and appreciate. Think about it!

5. Putting the Children First

Children are a gift to their parents. However, the tendency to make them the centre of your world at your spouse’s expense looms. While it is important to show your children undiluted love and affection, the ability to balance this alongside catering to your significant other’s needs remains paramount. Starving your partner can drive a wedge between you and them while rubbing off on the children negatively.
An easy way to ensure this does not happen includes spending focused time away from the little ones. Weekly date nights in a warm, romantic setting are a great option for bonding and enjoying each other’s company.

There you have it, five habits that make your spouse unhappy. Which of these caught you by surprise?
Do share by leaving a comment.

Now that you know how your behaviour may be affecting your marriage, how about moving things around to make your union more fun?

Remember to like, share and look out for the next article.

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1. Living Alone

In many parts of the world, staying in a house with parents and siblings remains a welcome option. Apart from the ability to manage expenses and enjoy the warmth of family, this option offers a full house situation where there is no alone time. However, considering how life changes drastically after the wedding, moving out to stay by yourself gives you room to do certain activities without help. Activities such as cooking, planning a meal budget, cleaning and decorating become your personal responsibility upon living alone.

This move will help set the tone for when you and your significant other will live together without family members. You also get the time to take charge of your space and schedule on your own. While moving in with the significant other upon marriage offers companionship, the ability to be your own person will also help you balance your needs and your spouse’s need for personal space.

2. Travel Solo

Exploring a different part of the state, country or continent is one step you should take before getting hitched. Apart from the possibility of making new friends, this also serves as a conversation starter in future. On the journey to unfamiliar spaces, there is room to be you with reckless abandon.

The memories created on such journeys become propellers for career and relationship growth upon marriage. If you go all out alone while your significant other does the same alone, time spent together before and after marriage will become more robust and entertaining. Think about it.

3. Think Investment

Marriage makes two become one in every way. From the personal stuff to the financials, every conversation goes from me to us. It goes without saying that a strong tendency to focus on the next person’s needs and collective bills might get in the way of amassing wealth. This is why setting up an investment fund and acquiring property should be explored before the rings are in place. Of course, this would depend on income levels. However, this can be done with a realistic and smart plan in place. Take baby steps by getting knowledge from bankers and property experts while setting aside some money every month towards a selected and pocket-friendly investment. Your future will thank you.

4. Embrace Selfcare

In many parts of the world especially in Africa, it is believed that the burden of self-care for women rests on their partners. This implies that spending quality time and paying attention to oneself may be intertwined with romantic relationships or marriage. While that may be an avenue to bond, it is important to state that self-care should begin with you whether marriage beckons or not. Daily living is quite demanding and stress is part of life. Accumulated stress may take its toll on your health at any time. This is why it is advisable to take out time to visit the spa, eat right and buy personal gifts regardless of marital status.

Doing this sets a precedent that becomes easy to keep up with even after the wedding. While this keeps you healthy, it also shows your significant other how to pamper you. Set the tone and watch your partner follow!

5. Visit a Therapist

Typically, this should fall under self-care. However, because of the promise it packs and its importance, therapy stands alone as one major option to explore before signing the dotted lines. This will not only help you heal from unresolved trauma, but it also offers you room to prepare better for the big day. What could be better than being the best person for your partner?

There you have it! Five solid ways to prepare for the journey of a lifetime. Don’t forget to share it with the ones you love and look out for the next article!

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Rita Dominic’s life is not exactly an open book but with the bit of information she has shared over the years, it is safe to say she has earned the title: Creative Juggernaut. The multiple award-winning actress and producer keeps building an admirable legacy. She is easily a top-five Nollywood legend of the decade. From her first movie ”A time to kill” in 1998, to her most recent movie, ”The Therapist” in 2021, Rita has shown time and time again that she is pretty accomplished.

Rita embodies grace and allure. She is known to evolve, and hone her craft and is highly revered in the industry. On the home front, she tied the knot, recently in Yorkshire England to her heartthrob, the daily times’ publisher, Fidelis Anosike.

Here are some life tips from Rita to follow:

FUEL YOUR AMBITION

One admirable thing about Rita is how she still puts in work, besides her great contributions to the film industry, Nollywood, she is also an ambassador to several brands like GLO, LG etc. She is the Audrey Silvia company co-founder and has progressed greatly in this field. Rita has not slowed down neither has she been deterred in any capacity. She has produced and acted in over three hundred movies, and continues to press on.

RIRI THE ACTIVIST

Although Rita is not a very vocal person, she is hardly the type to trend for news that is not relevant or impactful in society. She stands against what she perceives as wrong. For instance, in 2019, she called for the prosecution of Idris Ebiloma who was accused of raping a 15-month-old baby in 2016. She was part of the frontrunners of this activism in 2019. She also runs a charity organization that helps the less privileged. This is your cue to make impact by standing up for what you believe in

STAY FABULOUS

In the words of Giorgio Armani, “Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered.” Rita Dominic is known for in the industry as being stylish. To put it simply, her style is memorable. Her outfits have been discussed by several fans and fashion houses. Having received some nominations, she has won a few awards as the best-dressed actress countless times. She churns out different and unique fashion attires which always look fabulous.

It’s a wonder that she is yet to collaborate with any fashion designer as she would sell out in a blink of an eye. Her style is reminiscent of youth and maturity gliding together and coming into one accord, forming a strong union. She is never caught “unfresh”.

PRIVACY IS KEY

Rita Dominic handles her love life with utmost secrecy and grace. Rumours have risen about her previous romantic relationships but no one has been able to point out her partner until she decided to share that information with the rest of the world. Celebrities and friends were part of her wedding. The lesson here is to work out your life according to your personal plan and keep everything private.

Now that you have these awesome life tips to live by, go ahead and be the star you were created to be.

Share and look out for the next article!

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Family and friends love to spend time together. However, it can be a daunting and expensive experience to have fun with the ones you love.  In this article, you will find out how to hang out on a budget and have a great time while at it.

Here are five ways to have fun with family and friends:

Board Games

Super cheap yet functional, board games are a window to a fun time with loved ones. From scrabble to ludo, chess and monopoly, there is a wide range of games to choose from and explore without stress. Think about it.

Chat & Chill

Think mouth, not fingers. In the world today, phones double as both necessity and distraction. Knowing when to put your phone aside while hanging out with the ones you love and talking stuff out is a great way to bond and relax. From trading stories to speaking on topical issues to pass the time, chatting with your family members remains a great pastime for any friendship circle and family.  

Plan Picnics

Food is fuel for the body and eyes. It also gives you something to look forward to no matter the location. Arranging a picnic with finger foods and main dishes keeps the mouth busy while serving as a key to creating memorable moments. Add a visit to the wonderful outdoors on a hill or in a valley, and time out with family is settled and sorted. Try it out this Saturday if you can, your family bond will become better for it.  

Watch Waves

You don’t have to be a water lover to enjoy this activity. A visit to the beach is enough to make you and your family excited, refreshed and relaxed. It is not only a chance to feel the sand between your toes but also pocket-friendly if it is well-planned. All you have to do is locate a beach close to you and have fun with the one you love.

Now that you have options to choose from, family timeout promises to be better and easier. Make out time for one or all of the activities stated today.  

Enjoyed this article? Like, comment and share with the people you love today! 

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In this article, we will be taking you on a relationship journey with several warning signals. These could serve as a pointer to a potential abusive marriage.

How Often Does He Snap?

Physical abuse starts with a little disagreement, then anger, to burning rage. This feeling may occur once in a blue moon or at every slight provocation; it may be directed towards you, a close relation or even a pet. Either the reason is justifiable or not, anger should be moderate. To fully understand how to manage this feeling of anger, then consider reading our previous article. Physical abuse is neither normal nor healthy.

Does He Coerce You into Romance?

Kisses, pecks and hugs should not be demanded under compulsion. He may use force on you from the simple sexual exercise down to the intimate, forcefully controls the way you dress, make you terminate a pregnancy, make you watch porn or make you drink alcohol against your wish. That is more than a warning sign of intending doom in your marriage.

Does He Constantly Insult you or Intimidate You with His Words?

He does not have to beat you to abuse you. This is capable of lowering self-esteem and damaging one’s self-confidence. Once he criticizes you consistently without an occasional praise, call you names, embarrasses you, threatens you with the relationship and acts like everything is your fault. Then it is tending towards abuse in itself.

Does He Deprive You of Funds?

This may sound absurd. However, if he deprives you of working or earning your own money, lavishes you with too much money rather than care, stylishly robs you of your earning and leaves you almost bankrupt with different stories – No matter how genuine his reasons are, it is an intending doom.

Does He Stalk You?

How often does he stalk your every move – especially on social media? When your partner is extremely jealous, beware!  Especially when he begins to monitor every change in your phone, social media passwords or determine who should be or not be your friends.

Finally, several women are stuck in an abusive marriage. They find it difficult opting out, majorly because of the religious sentiments or a cultural background that bluntly preaches against divorce. The good news for singles today is that you have a choice.  You can choose to WATCH OUT for these signs or to have a carefree attitude to your relationship. What would you rather choose?

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Grudges

How often do you hold grudges? Research has shown that holding grudges stress the nervous system and over time causes havoc to the body. In fact, another research says that holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart diseases. Talk about it with the culprit and let go totally, most important because of your health.

Unforgiveness

How often do you get affected by past mistakes? It is safe to forgive yourself for your mistakes but it is wise to not forget them. By keeping your mistakes at a safe distance, you will be able to refer to them for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to differentiate between dwelling and remembering – dwelling which makes you anxious and remembering which makes you avoid the same kind of mistake. The key to balance lies in your ability is to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

Misunderstanding

A less EQ will strike you as someone who can’t get her thought conveyed constructively hence makes you feel misunderstood.  Even emotionally intelligent people know that they don’t communicate every idea perfectly. Capitalise on what people don’t understand, adjust your approach and re-communicate your idea in a way that can be easily understood.

Red Alert

Everyone has triggers – situations and people may push some buttons causing one to act impulsively. Emotionally intelligent people are aware of their triggers and use this knowledge to evade situations and people before they get the worst of them. Hence, awareness of your red alert makes you avoid them.

Anger

Emotional intelligence is not about being nice; neither is it about being unpleasant. it’s about managing your emotions to achieve the best possible outcomes. Sometimes this means showing people that you’re upset, sad or frustrated. Constant and deliberate covering up of your emotions with happiness and positivity is neither genuine or productive. Emotionally intelligent people employ negative and positive emotions intentionally in the appropriate situations.

Blames

Emotions come from within. It’s tempting to attribute how you feel about the actions of others, but you must take responsibility for your emotions. No one can make you feel anything that you don’t want to. Thinking otherwise only holds you back. In essence, emotionally intelligent people don’t allow wayward persons get under their skin.

Squeamish

Emotional Intelligent people can mentally draw the line between humour and degradation. If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets to you. So, if you are still squeamish and you think you are emotionally intelligent, think again!

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Many years ago it was almost impossible for inter tribal marriages to take place, the tug of war that parents engage in before consenting to either of their children getting married to someone from a different tribe was disturbing.

I know a couple who dated for 8 years with the intention of getting married but this wish never saw day light because of their ethic differences. It hurts so bad that it took them a while before they could let go of each other.

However some people have been lucky enough to be able cross the huddles of inter-ethnic differences before marriage but have no idea of what awaits them in marriage. Issues rise from not speaking same language, different choice of favourite meals, children upbringing, situational perception etc. This is statements like “this is how it is done in my place” comes up.

Getting married to your spouse means you are starting a new life and a new family, so be free to imbibe new things and accommodate new ideas. If you are about to walk this path , here are some tips to help you journey through.

Be On Your “A” Game

Have you ever heard the saying ‘First impression lasts long”? It is important you put on your “A” game when meeting your intending in-laws, being your best is necessary. Do not get me wrong, I am not asking you to go break your purse in a bit to try look good/create an impression.

You are required to be of best behavior, neatly dressed and above all be yourself. You would not want your first meeting with them to leave a bad impression of who you are. This is the time to show them you are ready to be a part of their family and culture.

Avoid Being Stereotyped

I advise you neglect stereotyped thoughts, either Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa etc, every culture has its uniqueness. Be open- minded to learn new things : a new thought, perception, idea or even lifestyle.

For example the method the Igbo’s cook their fufu (starch) is not applicable to the Yoruba’s.  This will save you from the stress of having things done your own way and facing the rejection of your In-laws later. Remember there is beauty in learning new things.

Highlight Your Cultural Values To Your Spouse

As a Yoruba lady, kneeling while greeting elders is part of our culture. In other tribes however their simple courtesy is to bow for elders.

Before introducing your spouse to your parents highlight your cultural values most especially the ones your family hold in high esteem so as to enable him or her find feel a little more welcoming in your family.

Bridge The Language Barrier

It is so annoying when seated in the midst of nonspeaking language people and you do not understand what they are talking about. So as not to let your spouse be left out of any discussion, explaining to her or replying back in English would save him/her a lot of stress and prevent confusion/misunderstanding.

Patience is a Virtue

In this part of the world, when you get married, you are getting married to your spouse’s family. There are times the family will get on your nerves, but patience is required so as not to cause a rift between your spouse and his/her family members. Do not unleash your frustrations on your spouse when there is a misunderstanding.

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Having high EI means that you know yourself (what makes you happy, sad, angry, shy and so on), you understand yourself (consciously identify these moods) and you can control or manage yourself (determine how the mood control and forms you). Also, this means that you understand the other person’s differences and can effectively deal with their moods or emotions.

There is an online test that can be carried out to check how emotionally intelligent you are.  You should check it out.

What then are the signs that you are not emotionally intelligent?

Stress

Does pressure get you stressed up? When you bottle your feelings, they quickly heighten and build into anxiety, tension and stress. When this is not addressed appropriately, it strains the mind. When not handled well, leads to anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even thoughts of suicide.

Solution: Take a pause; identify the root cause and tackle it constructively before it escalates beyond control

Indifference

Are you devoid of principles? Good manners, empathy, kindness and assertiveness have proven to be the most friendly and effective way to establish boundaries. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and unwavering and they stay clear of crude emotional reactions. With this, they are able to neutralise difficult and toxic people without creating enemies.

No Identity 

Can you describe exactly how you feel at every point in time? Most people with low Emotional Intelligence have a very little emotional vocabulary in their knowledge bank. When you don’t know how you feel, you misunderstand yourself. This often leads to irrational choice making and counter-productive actions.

Solution: Label your emotions. Once you have the right description of your feelings; may be “bad, irritable, frustrated, downtrodden, angry, anxious and so on”, you will know the cause and how to handle it.

Defensive

Are you quick to making assumptions and defending them with all you’ve got! People with low EQ will gather every point to support their views while ignoring every contrary detail. More often than not, they argue ad nauseam, to support it.This is especially dangerous for leaders, as their under-thought-out ideas become the entire team’s strategy

Solution:  Every initial reaction is driven by emotion. Give your thoughts time to develop and consider the possible consequences and counter-arguments. Then,  communicate your developed idea in the most effective way possible, taking into account the needs and opinions of your audience.

There are several other signs that show the level of EQ. We would sure be publishing more in our next article, 8 Signs that proves you are not as emotionally intelligent as you think.

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Susan almost lost her mind when she answered the door bell to her apartment, seeing her mother-in-law at the door post with her luggage. Mama, this time around, came with Nkiru a far distance relative. Mama just left Susan’s home 2 weeks ago after staying for a month. Susan in her shocked state flashed a smile welcoming her mother-in-law and Nkiru with a warm reception.

“Obi, did mama tell you she will be coming to Lagos” Susan asked her husband over the phone. Apparently mama decided to stop by without prior notice again, her last stay was a living hell for Susan, Mama complains about everything “Too much salt in the food, too much Maggi, too much pepper, why are you wasting my son’s money buying gas can’t you cook with fire wood” who does that in the city, cook with fire wood!

Susan had made up her mind to opt out of her 18 months marriage, if her husband continues to keep mute concerning his mother`s monstrous attitude.

So many marriages have ended within a short period of exchanging marital vows due to the mother-in-laws inability to limit their interference in the children’s marriage. This has made their daughter in-laws see them as a “monster-in-law” instead of a mother-in law.

Below are steps on how to deal with a “monster- in -law” in the name of a mother-in-law.

Tell Your Spouse to Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries in relationships are very important. Both parents should have their bounds and not wholly interfere in the affairs of their married children except it is highly essential/ their attention is needed.

Sometimes an unscheduled visits by parents/relatives of either spouses may be allowed. However, it is important to set the boundaries to prevent this from being an everyday occurrence.

Good Cop and Bad Cop

The perception you create about your spouse determines how your family/relatives will perceive him/her. Never talk down about your spouse whether to your mother or siblings. It indirectly creates an impression and affects the relationship between them. Irrespective of the character, attitude, issues and differences you may be going through, portray your spouse in a good way, it ensure they get along very well. However, there are cases where the family intervention will be needed, you would need to apply discretion and deal with this in a matured way. 

Appreciate Their Advice Whether You Heed To It or Not

When your mother-in-law offers unsolicited advice either you are interested or not, Ensure you listen attentively, acknowledge that she’s your mother-in-law and thus she is well experienced. Do not in anyway show that you are the tiniest bit disinterested in whatever she says. After the conversation, thank her, let her know that you would make sure to apply the pieces of advice. As a matured married lady who wants to sustain her home, you should be able to sieve through messages, select those which is best applicable and will work for your home then discard the rest. If you go the route of challenging your mother-in-law and showing that you care less about what she says you would be on a journey of creating a rift between you both.

Avoid Escalating Conflict

Visualize scenarios which gets you irritated when your in laws are around come up with a solution before having physical contact with them. In all you do, try avoid those scenarios so as to prevent conflict. Whenever conflicts arise try talk it out with your mother-in-law and respond honestly. Avoid being rude, be firm and polite.

Get Friendly

This comes up when you are left alone with your in law in the house, once you feel the atmosphere is becoming awkward try come up with chit chats, gists and warm up to your in-laws, this will make her know you both can have a cordial relationship.

Recognize Progress When You See It

No one is perfect, always remember your mother-in-law is a human with faults. It is at times difficult for a parent to bond with her new son-or daughter-in-law. They sometime see as if they are being replaced. As soon as you notice progress in your relationship with your mother –in-law make sure you embrace it.

Try Understand Common Problems Between You And Your Mother-In-Law

Are you tired of having a strained relationship with your mother-in-law? It is safe to notice the common problems , scenarios and situations that cause conflicts between you both, try to avoid them and create an atmosphere conducive to enable that you get along.

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