Susan’s mother, thinking she was doing her daughter good, was all an act of correction or so she thought. Unknown to her, she was abusing her physically and emotionally.

This act of correction made Susan a victim of emotional and physical abuse which totally destroyed her self-esteem. She became scared of talking among her peers. She grew with the mentality of being rejected not bothering to relate with anyone. The only persons who understood her were her father and elder sister. Whenever she does any wrong these two people correct her with soft words and make her understand the dangers in the wrong she had done. These two were the only ones she regarded as family.

There is a very thin line between discipline and punishment; which ultimately leads to abuse. A child is said to be abused when the corrective measures taken by the parent to discipline a child inflicts injury on the child either Physically or emotionally. Correction is non-punitive disciplinary measures used to discipline a child .

It is quite unavoidable to talk about correcting a child without looking at it from the angle of discipline. Discipline is one of the elements of parenting. Most parents find it difficult to draw the line between correcting a child in an empathic way.

If you, however, punish your child instead of disciplining them, the end result will not be the same. Punishment is an act of anger and impulse. It happens when a parent takes things personally; the use of object on a child inflicts injury on a child and that breed’s fear in the child.

Fear and Respect do not work together, when a child fears his or her parent the child finds it difficult to relate with the parent which goes a long way in destroying the existing relationship the child has with the parent.

Discipline also termed Correction also helps the child with the aim of helping them see why they should make right choices and actions. A parent who disciplines teaches their child right from wrong, helping them learn life skills.

Ultimately, punishment hurts a child whereas discipline helps a child.

How to Know When Discipline Crosses The Line

Punishment brings about intimidation, intimidation leads to fear; when a child begins to fear his or her parents the child tends to begin to think as a victim while the parent a victimizer.

Below are ways to tell if you are a Victimizer:

• As a parent examine what role your anger is playing while administering your punishment. It is normal for a parent to feel angry, it becomes abnormal if the parents expresses his or her anger rather than the need to correct a wrong.

• When a child tells lies to you as a parent to avoid punishment for any misconduct. The parent discovers the lie and tells the child to run outside for an hour, or starve the child for days. You are crossing the line of discipline. As a parent when you begin to act recklessly for example, a father is enraged at his teenage daughter: As they argue, he picks up a chair and throws it across the room toward the child. His daughter moves, and the chair misses her. While she was not injured, the possibility of an injury was present. Dad acted recklessly in this situation.

• Acting intentionally for example as a parent you found out your money is stolen and you suspect your child without asking question you flog your child stark naked, you put hot pepper in your child private part that is you crossing the line in a dangerous way.

How Then Do I Correct My Child Without Becoming a Victimizer?

The Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse Louisiana said “In thinking about parenting, it can help to use football as a model, Bronson said when a rule is broken, the whistle is blown and a penalty is announced. Refs do not hit the players, the players generally accept the consequences, and everyone keeps on playing. This implies you do not have to hit a child with an object or with harsh words before you discipline your child.

1. Having in mind discipline does not need to be physical. There are many ways to teach children without running the risk of hurting a child. Some examples of non-physical discipline are taking away privileges and time-outs. (Do not starve your child of food).
2. Instead of hitting your child so hard, you can set rules and be firm about them.
3. Talk to your child often at the same time give your child a listening hear, this will help the parent understand the rationale behind your child’s behaviour.
4. Praise/Acknowledge your child when he/she does the right thing.
5. Keep your eyes open to know when your child is socially withdrawn most particularly when a family member is around this might be a sign of him/her being abused by that person.
6. Do not call your child names
7. Love the child. The same hand with which you discipline should be the same hand you hold them close.

As we create Child Abuse Awareness in this month of April, I implore parent to ensure discipline, know when corrective measures tend become abuse and take conscious steps to avoid them.

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Generally caused by an accumulation of bacteria in the mouth; which causes inflammation and exude great foul smell. Basically, all the food eaten begins to be broken down in your mouth. If you eat foods with strong flavour (such as garlic or onions), brushing and flossing; even mouthwash merely covers up the odour temporarily. The odour will not go away completely until the foods have passed through your body.
If you don’t brush and floss teeth daily, food particles can remain in your mouth, promoting bacterial growth between teeth, around the gums, and on the tongue. This causes bad breath. In addition, odour-causing bacteria and food particles can cause bad breath if dentures are not properly cleaned.

Smoking or chewing tobacco-based products also can cause bad breath, stain teeth, reduce your ability to taste foods, and irritate your gum.

Persistent bad breath or a bad taste in the mouth may be a warning sign of gum (periodontal) disease. Gum disease is caused by the buildup of plaque on teeth. Bacteria cause the formation of toxins to form, which irritate the gums. If gum disease continues untreated, it can damage the gums and jawbone.

For some, mouth odour is a temporal issue that only rears its unfavorable trait in a rather unique way; such as when you just get out of bed in the morning, or after eating a pungent-releasing food. For many others, it is a recurring phenomenon regardless of whether the teeth is either brushed or flossed, rinsed with mouthwash or consistent eating of mint-releasing candies.

Other dental causes of bad breath include poorly fitting dental appliances, yeast infections of the mouth, and dental caries (cavities).

Xerostomia; the medical condition depicting dry mouth can also cause bad breath. Saliva is necessary to moisten the mouth, neutralize acids produced by plaque, and wash away dead cells that accumulate on the tongue, gums, and cheeks. If not removed, these cells decompose and can cause bad breath. Dry mouth may be a side effect of various medications, salivary gland problems, or continuous breathing through the mouth.

Medically, there are many other diseases, illnesses or medications that may cause bad breath. Respiratory tract infections such as pneumonia or bronchitis, chronic sinus infections, postnasal drip, diabetes, chronic acid, etc. are some of these medical conditions.

How to know if you have Bad Breath

1. Get a very good friend to be absolutely honest, but do make sure they are a true friend.
2. A simple test you can do yourself is to lick the inside of your wrist and wait for the saliva to dry. If the area you licked smells unpleasant, it is likely that your breath does too.

What Can I Do to Prevent Bad Breath

1. Practice good oral hygiene

Brush twice a day with fluoride toothpaste to remove food debris and plaque. Brush teeth after you eat (keep a toothbrush at work or school to brush after lunch). Don’t forget to brush the tongue, too. Replace your toothbrush every 2 to 3 months or after an illness. Use floss or an interdental cleaner to remove food particles and plaque between teeth once a day. Rinse with an antibacterial mouthwash twice a day. Dentures should be removed at night and cleaned thoroughly before being placed in your mouth the next morning.

2. See your dentist regularly

Make effort to see your dentist at least twice a year. He or she will conduct an oral exam and professional teeth cleaning and will be able to detect and treat periodontal disease, dry mouth, or other problems that may be the cause of bad mouth odour.

3. Drink lots of water

Drinking water keeps your mouth moist and makes you produce more saliva, which in turn neutralises bad breath. Chewing gum (preferably sugarless) or sucking on candy (preferably sugarless) also stimulates the production of saliva, which helps wash away food particles and bacteria. Gums and mints containing xylitol are best.

4. Application of mouthwash

Some mouthwashes not only leave breath smelling minty, they contain some antiseptic agents, such as cetylpyridinium chloride (ask your dentist about which product is best for you), to reduce plaque and prevent gingivitis; which can also cause bad breath.

5. Regular intake of vegetables

Fibrous vegetables, such as celery and cucumbers boost saliva production; which ultimately washes away odour-causing bacteria. Crunchy vegetables help in removing plaque on teeth and gums, which bacteria can feed on.

6. Keep a log of the foods you eat

If you think they may be causing bad breath, bring the log to your dentist to review. Similarly, make a list of the medications you take. Some drugs may play a role in creating mouth odour.

7. Stop smoking and chewing tobacco-based products

Ask your dentist for tips in kicking out the habit.

The post 7 Easy Ways on How to Prevent Bad Breath appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Walking down the stairs,I could hear a familiar voice calling out my name screaming‘Omolola! ‘Omolola! Help me check the kitchen cabinet for a new pack of magi seasoning and I need it right no’that was my mother Chief Mrs Tade herself AKA Mama Show, always representing at any family event.

She can like to party for Africa.

As I hurriedly turn back I heard my name again ‘Omolola! ‘Omolola! ‘Get me cold water from the fridge andalso come with my food ’.I sheaved a sigh as I listened to the voice other me around- that is the voice of the man who treats me like a maid. Oh how I hate his guts! Whenever he needs my attention;he calls me with such pride and ego, I really do not blame him, I blame my father who gives him so much power and room to do whatever he likes including ruling the affair of the house as if he owns it.

Whenever mum complains to dad he would always come with the excuse of ‘heis my only brother and there is nothing I can do about his attitude, he is an adult, I can’t control him and you do not expect me to chase him out of the house even if he has refused to get a life at the age of 38’.

Omolola! He calls yet again jolting me out of reverie.

I began thinking again;’ O God why am I the only child, these household chores would kill me some day’ I muttered to myself.

Omolola!Yet I heard my name this time it was Aunt Bimpe

‘what are you doing standing here I have been behind you for a while,, it is obvious you were lost in thought, kin niomokeke e araro,  what are you thinking of  you are just 11 years old, do you want to kill yourself?. ‘Nothing ma’I replied.

“In that case your mum is waiting for the seasoning outsideoya make. It snappy it is almost time for the Christmas party and you are yet to take a bath and get dressed.Your daddy’s jet will arrive soon and he won’t be seeing you dressed this way. In fact don’t worry I will give your mum the seasoning’. Aunt Bimpe thank you so much you are indeed a life saver” I thanked my Aunt and ran to take a bath.

So I decided to serve my uncle his food before he gets angry and tells me I am a rich spoilt brat, Uncle Kunle never sees anygood in what I do.

06:00pm

The party already begun. People wouldn’t stop tropping in.This is my best time of the year. I look forward tomy father hosting his business partners, having lots of food, drinks, music, fun and of course time out with my Dad.

‘ChiefWilliams I am so happy to see you with your delectable wifeand your lovely daughter, Mrs Williams it is always nice having you around’ that is the voice of my father chief Tade the owner of O&T enterprises always going on business trip all around the world to meet his business partners he works too hard and he is never around, he just came into town today and he would be travelling tomorrow for another business trip. Whenever I complain, he would say ‘OmololaIwork so hard for you to have a comfortable future’

Figuring, it was quite difficult getting Dad’s attention,I decided to join Mum on the dance floor as I heardKing Sunny Ade’ssong ‘Majaiyeoni’my Mum’s favourite track of the great music legend, while dancing with her Uncle Kunle came to join us and before I realised the dance floor was filled with people dancing to the melodious tune. I saw uncle Kunle dancing with Sandra Williams the only daughter of Chief Williams. They kept holding hands and wouldn’t let go off themselves.

Omolade help get my slippers from the room my leg hurts badly I need to get down from this heels Mumsaid. Immediately, I ran up till the stairs. Suddenly,Iheard sounds of two people struggling with each other in the kitchen, curiosity got me so I decided to check what was going on. As I opened the kitchen door to my greatest surprise,I saw uncle Kunle dragging someone my her clothes he wasn’t facing me directly so I didn’t know what was happening.

I was so scared because I saw a knife on the kitchen cabinet and the heat of the struggle was really intense.I started crying.I didn’t realize when I gave out a loud scream. Help! I shouted.

My voice filled the air. In no time the kitchen became filled with people. Everyone who had come for the party had gathered. Suddenly, Uncle Kunle freed his captive. He gave me that look of disgust.

Then I realised the person whom I thought was trying to kill my dearest uncle was Sandra Williams and she was half naked while uncle Kunle was pants down over her.

O my God!I muttered out.

‘What is the meaning of this, what is all this shenanigans about?, Kunle most you always bring reproach to the family, of all the ladies here it just had to be my business partners daughter Chief Williams what is wrong with you, I mean don’t you have some decency in the kitchen,Kunle where we cook and serve our food I am so speechless and disappointed just put on your clothes before her father gets in here’ 

My father said not knowing Chief Williams and his wife were standingbehind him as he turned Chief Williams was filled with so much rage and disappointment, `Tade our friendship is over and I am pressing charges on rape against your family’

Chief Williams said with seriousness written all over his face. Pressing charges for what?  Sandra is 22 years old. Uncle Kunle had the nerves to voice out his opinion on this awkward situation, Chief Williams was so furious that he almost threw Uncle a punch. With tears and shock laden voice, Chief Williams screamed,“she is only 16 years old”. The room suddenly began to spin.

Serah Aina

The post Tale of a teenager: The Omolola’s experience-The Party appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

These words fell like an egg, they dropped on me like a bomb; never in my wildest imagination did I ever imagine my Uncle Kunle say this to me. Every now and then, he would come into my room in the middle of the night, satisfying and pleasuring himself all the way. I began thinking “Could this be love?”

If truly this reveals the definition of love, then I do not want to be loved by anyone ever! Love has the meaning; it makes no sense. In my world, there is no such thing.

I always found myself helpless each time he was in my room.

Hmmmm… who would I tell my story? Who would believe me?

The day I tried telling my aunt remains evergreen in my mind, she flogged sense into me, I began seeing stars.  “Huh-Huh,Omolola, shut up! Stop vomiting that rubbish from the toilet you call your mouth! Abi e ma gboro” My Aunt cut me short before I could let it all out.

After my parent died I lost everything to Uncle Kunle since I was a minor at the time of my parent’s death.According to my father’s will, Uncle Kunle would be in charge of the properties and my guardian till I clock 18.

I heaved a sigh upon hearing this, somehow I knew I had entered the “doom”…

Serah Aina

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