Seun is me and might be you right now; you just had a baby, maybe not your first or maybe even your fourth, but you realize that for the past 3 to even 9 months after child birth, your affections and attention have been solely for that child. Your husband might not be vocal about it, but believe me, he hurts.

So what do you do when you realize that your marriage is between you and your partner and kids are just an addition and not the cornerstone? YOU SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE!

How do you do this, let me give you 5 steps on how to get those feelings oiled and ready;

Don’t Talk Kids All The Time

Yes, I said that. I know it’s very difficult not to rave about your kids seeming awesome accomplishments of getting down from the bed solo or taking first steps, but you need to stop. Ask your partner how their day went and listen to them talk. Empathise with difficult moments and share laughs over jokes. You can both agree to have baby talk during a set time period and all conversations relating to kids should be restricted to that.

Compliment Your Partner Frequently

After years in marriage and with the arrival of kids, it is very easy to not see your partner in all their initial glory. However, always consciously remind yourself to look for the good every day in your partner, it might just be something as easy as “thanks for the meal, I understand how stressed you are” or “How was work, your office doesn’t know how lucky they are to have you all day”. Everyone loves to be appreciated. It brings out the best in us.

Talk: Always Talk

There is nothing like too much communication. Look for a time when you and your partner are less stressed, it might be early mornings or late evenings after everyone has been tucked into bed. Talk about your frustrations, sex, anger, disappointment and appreciation of each other. This is not a time to argue or accuse, talk plainly and be open to listening and understanding your partners’ point of view. Most troubles in our mind are as a result of misinterpretation of our partners’ words or actions and this can be cleared up with a simple, “Hun, when you said xxxxx yesterday, I felt unappreciated because I understood it to mean yyyyy”.

Go on Dates

This simply means take some time off parenting and just be you two again. It doesn’t have to be an expensive outing, you can just go to the beach or take a stroll around the neighbourhood and sit in that bukka on the other street. Listen to street convos and take in the sights and sounds around you. Look for someone reliable to watch your kids or make plans with another couple where you 4 swap babysitting duties for couple date nights.

Never Forget Intimacy

Get a red-hot marker and circle at least a day each week when the cookie must crumble. This doesn’t mean it can’t crumble every other day. But with all the activities involved in taking care of kids, you just might forget to get intimate. However, when your calendar reminds you that something should go down, whether it be a quickie or a full blown out hours session, it’s easier to go through the day.

These rules are not fixed, but they have worked for me and I believe they will work for you too. Give them a try, add your own kinks to it and see your marriage come back to life.

Image credit

Omotola Fasawe

The post How To Spice Up Your Marriage – 5 Ways To Rekindle Passion Even After Childbirth appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Doing Something Extra

When you open the door to let her in, bring her a bouquet of roses or just do something beyond her expectation that would earn you her admiration. Be creative, you could also bring her a first day gift!

Respecting Her Every Move, Being Courteous

Always remember that observing proper manners is Important. Play by all the etiquette rules, do not leave out any. Be pleasant with your comment and jokes. Never play down on her feelings, opinions, comments and suggestions. Do not try funny jabs at her. Have respect for time, do not enforce your meal choice on her. Ladies always give attention to details; never forget that she is listening to what you are /not doing.

Paying Your Date compliments

How much ladies love to be complimented! Pay your date lovely compliments. Make her/him feel good. Something about his/her appearance would interest you. No amounts of compliment is too much. Whether admitted or not, an ample amount of time was put into looking good for the date, applaud the effort.

Being Interested in Your Date

Being curious about your date, makes him or her feel needed. Get to know all you can in one night. Know her Likes and dislike. Do not just get carried away by your experiences, let her know that you care and would like to be committed to her. Your intentions should be to keep the conversation flowing, do not steal the moment and make the evening yours alone. Ensure there are no few awkward pauses; just don’t make it an interview.

Being Too Forward

Never be too forward or aggressive. No lady likes a guy that wants to be everywhere. When a guy takes his time to access the situation and offer help in crisis during the date time.

Leaving an Impression

You may decide to crown the night with a special touch, when you leave a lasting impression that would make the date an unforgettable one. It would make the time out a wonderful time and make your date feel how lucky she was to spend some time with you.

Image credit: Stock Vector photo

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