Here are 6 easy steps to becoming visible in a male-dominated workplace:

Stay Confident

How you carry yourself on the job determines how you will be perceived by others. The way you look and speak tells a story about your personality and importance to your employers and colleagues. When relevant knowledge meets innovative application, confidence shows up. This simply means that you don’t give in to the narrative of beauty without brains; you flip the script by ensuring that you become indispensable in the areas that require your input. Knowing when to speak up and convince the decision-makers is also very important so your ideas can see the light of day. Your excellent work will get you noticed and your ability to keep at it without supervision will make you a valuable player (MVP) even before the naysayers.

Be Diplomatic

The work environment is a setting where words and body language can be misinterpreted. This means that your words and demeanor must not spark up a war at that moment or when you leave. Diplomacy demands that you construct your sentence in a way that you are not judged as proud or sarcastic especially when speaking with your superiors. Therefore, careful thought and planning must go into every word spoken and every email shared. Even when you have to defend yourself, you must be clear and avoid making ambiguous statements that can make people feel bad. In a situation where you have the chance to throw people under the bus in a moment of rage, you must step back and clear your head so you don’t wreck your career growth in a minute or two knowing that words are not easily forgotten. Remember, pure hard work may take you to the top, emotional intelligence coupled with the same hard work will sustain you more.

Do More

Many workers believe that the KPI (Key performance indicator) tied to their job description is the only factor that comes into play when it is time for the appraisal. Unfortunately, a lot of bosses do not tell subordinates the importance of being a problem solver at every point in time or how it affects their image. When you work in Department A, you must be wise enough to understand how your role affects Department B, C, D and the entire company. This will help you stand out as you will be able to proffer solutions and save the company unnecessary costs while further marking you as one fit to lead others when the need arises

Take Responsibility

Bosses value subordinates who go all out to do tasks assigned to them. They also favour those who take initiative by taking on additional responsibility outside their comfort zone. Hence when a boss says he needs someone to do a report or accompany him to a meeting, you should not hesitate to step forward and make life easy for your boss. It makes you stand out and also helps you learn new skills that may come into play when the time of promotion comes. This also means that when the time of restructuring comes, your boss will not let you go because you make his work easier.

Be a Team Player

The work environment is a competitive place but the ability to work with the team in mind earns you points. This is the difference between Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. If you have the capacity to mobilize the team to play their own part while you play yours, you will be seen as a team player, not someone who wants to shine at the risk of making the team look bad. This also means that you must be careful to use “we” not “I” in sensitive situations that can affect the image of the team. If you are able to do this, even when naysayers or toxic people try to badmouth you, your boss will defend you and support you before his own superiors.

Be Passionate

Passion and focus go hand in hand especially in the workplace. The way you do your job with a difference will make people mark you out for excellence. It could also attract more work because people are sure that you will go the extra mile to get the job done but that means that your absence will be felt because people will miss your special touch. The capacity to love your job and do it to the best of your ability without supervision or eye-service shows the depth of your passion, therefore, the recognition and reward many people lobby for will come to you in due time.

Being a woman in the workplace is not a disadvantage, it is a good thing. These steps will not work if you belong to the class of those who want to use “bottom power” to rise through the ranks as a time will come when those who kept you there will leave and your fall will be great. Believe in yourself, work hard, apply wisdom and watch the world clap for you in good time.

The post Workplace Secrets: 6 Keys to Outstanding Performance at the Office appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Here are 5 beautiful ways to make your passion your job:

Start a Travel Blog

It is your job as a travel blogger to travel to different places, take pictures, record videos, write articles and even talk about the process of traveling to these undiscovered places. These bits will be uploaded on the blog/website/social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook etc. With time, you will gather followers who will help to share these resources with friends and loved ones at no extra cost. This will not only help people make choices, it will also make your website or blog the go-to source for everything travel. As your blog/website gains popularity, you will get the chance to advertise for brands and companies on your platform. In addition, you will begin to get the attention of tourism-based organizations; airlines etc. who may make you an ambassador and sponsor your trip in exchange for free reviews and the likes. Apart from the beauty of being your own boss and enjoying your own time as you want, you can also get the attention of News networks like CNN etc. You become an authority on travel and receive TV airtime to share your experience and business secrets with the world. Just start, remain consistent and watch fame and fortune fall into your lap. An example of someone who has made this happen is Chiamaka Ntia (nee Obuekwe) with Instagram handle @social prefect. She was interviewed by CNN.

Become a Tour Guide

As a travel lover, you can relocate to a new country and study the place till you have the layout and history at the back of your mind. Knowing the choice tourist attractions will come in handy when people travel in from around the world on holiday. Every day you will be required to work with different groups of people by showing them around these places and reeling out history that will get them engaged. You also get to move around a lot while talking and meeting different people. As you work as a tour guide, you will also have the opportunity to travel to new places, research and share the information with new travelers and the pay is good too. Whether you organize tours for small families or business travelers, you can be sure that your account will be ringing with cash every other day. Talk about living the dreamer’s life.

Get an Air Hostess Job

This one speaks for itself. Working as an air hostess is the easiest way to live the life of traveler without paying one Naira. The airline foots all your bills and takes you around the world with ease. All it takes is meeting the criteria set for air hostesses as there are physical hurdles you have to cross. Looking the part and acting it go hand in hand. The tough part is having to stand on your feet for hours and putting people skills to use as you make everyone on the flight comfortable. You can be sure that the good life is yours to enjoy. Don’t forget to travel light!

Become a Travel Writer

You will need to love writing to explore this option. Travel writing presents you with the opportunity to work on a journal while you travel around the world. The idea is to work with travel magazines that foot your bill as you travel around and create fascinating pieces of writing for public consumption. Panorama Journal is an example of such a travel journal.

Start a Travel Agency

Many people find it difficult to take out time from their busy schedule to make travel arrangements for their dream vacation. The idea of leaving the office to run around for these arrangements is seen as stress. This is where you come in; one man’s stress is another man’s source of cash. All you have to do is leverage on social media after registering your business name and all. Then you can begin to help busy people bring their travel dreams to life for a fee. You also get to work with larger travel agencies and get your cut as well. Another perk you can get from all this work is travel bonus and discounts which means you also get to travel for vacation at a reduced price. Think about that!

Note: Like every other endeavor, finding your feet in this line will take a lot of work, time and patience. You will need to learn the business side of things in order to create value and make profit. You can research and understudy those who have been in the business before you or work with a mentor so you don’t make avoidable mistakes. Get up and get that cash in grand style!

The post The Passion Series: 5 Ways to Make Money from Your Love of Travelling appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Study Your Environment

Getting into a new place can be unnerving as it is unknown terrain but taking time to watch everyone after the first introduction can help you recognize the movers & shakers of your department/workplace. Study the different individuals to understand their behaviours as against the culture of the organization. This will not prevent you from doing your work, it will only help you to be a few steps ahead as you are able to tell who is the influencer, the pretender, the butt-licker, the hard-worker etc. Your ability to recognize the different types of people will help you structure your work in a way that helps you stand out without being at anyone’s mercy.

Choose Your Words

It has been established that the workplace is not a very friendly place. This is simply because your presence is a threat to a number of people. For every time you excel or shine, you make more enemies who will look for a way to turn the spotlight back to them or get information that can lead to your undoing. Therefore, you have to be very wise in the way you contribute to discussions or respond to questions. Some people are good at stirring up controversies e.g. they start some tricky topics and control the conversation in order to take information to the boss. For example, if someone is talking about the boss’ shortcomings and trying to get you to speak ill of him/her; or if a colleague is trying to get an idea of what you earn (which is confidential information), you must be smart enough to see through the pretense and give a vague answer that cannot be quoted anywhere. In the case where you are unable to give a blanket answer, you are allowed to smile and keep quiet. Not every question requires an answer.

Do Your Job Well

The major reason you got the job is because of the value you will add to the business, never lose sight of that. For every time you do your job, you must do good work that cannot be faulted and will not cost the company money. Hence, you must be innovative by thinking of endless ways to leave the business better than you met it. This means that you should have an entrepreneurial mindset. You must also be humble enough to learn new things and ask questions without feeling shy. You must know how to stand out while being a team player. Take on challenges by learning new parts of the business while positioning yourself as a key player in that field. The only way to stand out is to have a signature that showcases you as a lover of excellence.

Say No to Gossip

As formal as the workplace is, gossip is the only visitor that you cannot shut out of the gathering. The best thing you can do is to remove yourself from such a toxic setting. Before you panic, no one has asked you to resign. All you have to do is block out the voice of the big-mouthed employee who always sees the bad things. The rule here is clear, whoever comes to gossip about someone to you will go elsewhere to gossip about you. Now imagine if you have joined the obnoxious person to malign another employee and the person moves on to the next person, he/she will definitely twist your words and make you the enemy. So next time anyone comes to you with gist about someone, get busy and smile without adding or subtracting from what the person is saying or simply ask him/her to speak with the person in question.

Control Your Temper

There is nothing as valuable as Emotional Intelligence. This is a weapon in career building that is often underestimated. Now if you are someone who likes to argue, win a battle or lash out at people with toxic words, you cannot earn respect for your work or even get the baton of leadership in a work setting. The thrust of leadership is the ability to make people do their work well while helping them feel valuable as people. “But I am very blunt person”…please don’t give excuses for rudeness. Wisdom is profitable to direct, there is always a better way to give feedback without insulting people or cursing. Respect everybody and treat each person well. You never know when you will need the help of the next person so keep the bad words in your head. Also the ability to deflect nasty talks will make you a winner any day. If the next person is not wise enough to display emotional intelligence, don’t roll in the mud with them. Stay quiet and smile as the potty mouthed person disgraces himself openly. If you feel like you are a target, you can report the person to the necessary people so that he/she can be cautioned.

Keep Personal Things Personal

The office environment is not the place to give certain excuses or tell some stories. You don’t want to give anyone ammunition to use against you due to workplace dynamics. Therefore, you must try to do your work properly so that you don’t have to lie or say unsavory things. If you are taking time off for health reasons, it is not right to tell your boss that you are treating an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease)…you know how that sounds, right? If you are taking some days off, the workplace is only meant to know that you are going on leave…not that you are going for society parties. You might not see anything wrong in disclosing this but you never know if the HR or your boss will change their opinion about you just because of one innocent thing you said. In addition, not everyone has a good heart so what you say can become a topic of discussion or have people look down on you while spreading false rumors about you.

Have No Expectations

It is easy to feel betrayed when someone you have trusted with private information or see as an ally plots against you. The reality of life is different, treat everyone well but do not expect too much from them. Never complain to your colleagues, just take issues in your stride to avoid hearing a different version of the story from the Ogas at the top. Snitches do not carry a sign on their foreheads. Be accessible to everyone on the job, offer help where you can but be cautious when relating with them.

Note: it is possible to make friends and find destiny helpers in a workplace but you need to give it time. You must relate with everyone without allowing them know everything about you. Self-preservation is very important. It is often said that when two friends fight, secrets come to light. Now read that again and replace “friends” with “colleagues” (I am sure you get the picture). Give your best at work and be helpful. Be professional yet courteous. Be interested in the welfare of people but do not cross the privacy line so that you do not get into trouble. If you find true friends eventually, you are blessed. Re-invent yourself every time in preparation for the next opportunity and watch fortune favour you as you climb up the career ladder.

The post How to Win at Work: 7 Cards You must Play to Excel in the Career Game appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

She is a graduate of Accounting from the University of Abuja. She holds a Master of Science degree in Finance and Management from the Cranfield School of Management in the United Kingdom, and a Master of Business Administration with specialisation in Finance from the University of Lagos. She also holds the award of Chartered Financial Analyst, a gold standard financial market qualification for professionals with careers/trainings as investment managers, financial analysts, credit analysts, portfolio managers. Ahmad also has the Chartered Alternative Investment Analyst award.

Having worked with NAL Bank Plc, Stanbic IBTC Bank Plc, and Zenith Bank Plc, Aishah brings to the CBN  a rich banking background, spanning experiences in investment banking, retail banking, wealth management, consulting, and financial advisory.

Prior to the recent appointment, She was Head, Private Clients/Private Banking, Stanbic IBTC; Head of Business Development, Zenith Capital Limited; Head, Retail Banking (Energy Group), Zenith Bank Plc; Private Banker/Head Private Banking Unit, NAL Bank Plc; Chief Financial Officer, Manstructs Group and Head, Consumer Banking, Diamond Bank.

In her words “a role that leverages my talents, aspirations, creativity and my predispositions, and thus doesn’t feel like work and when it doesn’t feel like work you’re able to integrate your work into your lifestyle. I have found that the more adjacent the work you do is from who you are, and how you live your life on a day to day basis, the more difficult it is to manage the competing priorities and expectations of work, family and self. The availability of affordable childcare, which is very expensive in other countries – has been very useful to me as a career woman in Africa; its helped me to have care givers at home when I had to be away.” This has helped her maintain a work-life balance thus building a successful career and family life.

Also currently the chairperson, Executive council, Women in Management, Business and Public service (WIMBIZ) a post she has held since November 2015, Aishah says women themselves must be inspired to take their place in leadership and there should be an inclusion consciousness in every aspect of private and public life: ensuring that everyone has equal opportunity to participate in National Development.

Indeed she is a pride to Womanhood!

Source: The Guardian

The post “Women Themselves Must Be Inspired To Take Their Place in Leadership”- Aishah Ahmed, CBN’s Newly Appointed Deputy Governor appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Research

Getting a job is a job. This simply means that you have to put your best foot forward by knowing about the potential place of employment. It is expected that you must have dug up some information to help you put your CV and Cover letter together. However, going in for an interview is a different ball game. You must read up on the company, understand the nature of the company’s work and their culture. Browsing the website or asking someone who works with the company will help you prepare better by giving you an idea of the company’s values, work ethics and even the sector they operate in. This will also help you with some important choices as knowledge is power.

Look Good

Your outfit can make or mar your chances of getting the job so you must do it right. The standard dress code for any interview is a corporate outfit. This could be a smart dress with pumps or a skirt/trouser with a shirt and/or blazer. The outfits for interview must be solid (not too loud and not too serious). These colors include Grey, Navy Blue, Off-White, Burgundy which can be mixed with other rich colors for balance. Wearing Yellow or Neon Pink is a no-no as you don’t want to come across as attention-seeking. Wearing a black dress with black shoes might make you look snobbish or out-of-place. Make-up should be subtly applied to avoid wrong impressions of vanity. Make sure the outfit is not tight, dirty or short so they can listen to you with fairness and not write you off as unkempt or seductive. Balance is key.

Smell Right

The way you smell can either convince or confuse the panel. It will not be proper to sit before a group smelling like you poured the whole bottle of perfume on yourself. It is also rude to torment the panel with an offensive body odor. Your scent is something you must deliberately work on. Apply your roll-on and use a subtle perfume that will give you a fresh scent. That way, you will eliminate the possibility of making anyone sneeze throughout the meeting due to an allergy or writing you off as a cheap skate. You should also suck on mint so your mouth stays hydrated and your breath smells fresh during the meeting. This will also boost your confidence as you answer their questions and convince them that you are the right candidate for the job.

Speak Well

An interview is a setting where your intellectual capacity will be examined and measured by a group of people. It is a chance to present yourself as the best thing that could ever happen to that employer. Therefore, you must be bold and careful to answer their questions intelligently. You must apply the right level of tact and composure to sell yourself well. You must be cautious and wise. You must be respectful when it comes to your choice of words to avoid leaving a wrong impression. An interview is not the place to burst into tears or talk about very private details. Be professional as you let your values and passion shine through as you talk.

Keep it Quiet

There is nothing as distracting as hearing your phone ring during an interview. It does not only disrupt the setting, it also makes you look unserious especially if your ringtone is a song with funny lyrics. To avoid struggling with your bag in the bid to cut the call or sweat bullets out of shame, switch off your phone. A lot of people advise that you set it in silent mode but if you have a habit of setting alarms/reminders, you might want to switch off to avoid getting a rude shock. Remember that you will always have your phone with you but you might never get the chance to change the first impression.

Ask Questions

After you have answered the interview questions, the people on the panel will ask if you have questions for them. Be sure to ask questions so you can learn something new. Asking about the expectations of the job will help you understand any other job requirement that was not mentioned in the job advert while helping you prepare for the role mentally. Another detail you should be curious about is the culture of the organization. This does not only affect the job role, it also makes you to know if the company is the place or you. Asking about the company’s culture will help to know the values the company holds dear and how it will affect you and your career path. This will not only help you learn, it will also show that you came prepared.

These are a few points that can tilt the scale for your good but they do not guarantee that you will get the job as other factors like preferential treatment on the part of the company or indecisiveness can prevent you from getting the job. As long as you have value to add, you can be sure that you will get something no matter how long it takes. Just remember to keep your head high, learn lessons from every interview you go for and watch yourself stand out in the bid to land that dream job.

The post How to Ace That Job Interview: 6 Factors That Will Help You Leave a Good Impression appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Anyone can be an Abuser

Contrary to popular belief, an abuser does not look or behave a certain type of way. Abusers sometimes grow up in privileged home and experience love and care like other children. A person who is good-looking, soft-spoken and super nice can be an abuser. This is because an abuser feels the need to shut his/her spouse up, correct and control them. He/she does this and sometimes makes up for it by buying gifts or cooking a delicacy or feeling sober for a little while all a bait to appeal to the victim afterwards return to status quo.

Anyone can be Abused

It is often believed that women are the only victims of abuse. However, this thought is quickly becoming a thing of the past as it is often whispered that some men are being abused by their wives. Due to the machismo associated with men, the cases of abuse against men usually go unreported. A lot of the women who abuse their husbands do sometimes because they think they can always get away with it/ as a preventive measure. The selfish need to put fear into him often makes them do this. A child that watched their father or mother go through abuse could feel the need to control the spouse when he/she grows up except he/she goes for counselling or makes a conscious effort to resist the urge.

Abuse can be Verbal

A lot of people believe that the only time someone can be abused is only when the person has been beaten up or sexually assaulted. This is far from the truth. Verbal abuse is more dangerous because what we hear affects our thinking. The power of words is often underestimated. Words can evoke bitterness in a person and make them do what they would ordinarily not do. Some couples go through divorce after many years of marriage because they are unable to let go of the hurtful things the person said years back. Verbal abuse can wreck a person’s health by leaving the door open for conditions like Depression, High Blood Pressure and Cancer. Verbal abuse can also destroy a person’s sense of worth. A lot of people end up with low self-esteem because their partners make them feel worthless. This can cause depression and eventually lead to suicide/death.

 Abuse is about Control

The need to be in charge or subdue the next person is what gives rise to domestic violence. When a man or woman feels the need to give their spouse a reason to be afraid of them, that person might take it to the next level by lashing out at them mentally (using hurtful & demeaning words), physically (beating up the spouse), emotionally (cutting the spouse off from family & friends), financially (denying the spouse access to money so they can succumb). All the different expressions can be termed as abuse as it tampers with the well-being of the victim.

Abusers are Manipulators

Abusers are usually very good at reverse psychology. They always have a way of making the victim think that they caused it. He/she could tell the victim how no one would believe them. If that does not work, they can shed crocodile tears and threaten to kill themselves if the victim says anything about leaving. Sometimes, the abuser uses the carrot and stick technique. On one hand, they can win the victims over by showering them with expensive gifts to appeal to them. On the other hand, they can threaten to kill them or take the children away from them.

Marriage does not correct Abuse

Some people see signs of abuse and ignore such thinking it would change after marriage. Getting shouted at or receiving slaps during courtship is a red flag. Whatever a person does before marriage will not change after marriage. It will only get worse. If you are dating someone who does not value your opinion and shows disapproval by saying hurtful things, beating or shaking you to drive the point home, you need to break up that relationship. A man/woman who uses frustration as an excuse before marriage will cite frustration after the marriage. Prevention is better than cure. The damage caused by abuse is better imagined than experienced.

Children are also Victims: A lot of victims stay in the marriage because of the “how will I take care of my children?” factor. Some women do not envisage future challenges and as such don’t work to make ends meet. Even if she does, she might not be making so much to take care of them without the help of their father. Also a married woman is never welcomed back to her father’s house no matter what she experiences. She is only told to go back and endure. Unfortunately, staying in a toxic environment exposes the children to psychological trauma which can breed hatred for their parents. This can prevent the children from trusting people while making them potential abusers.

Ways to Tackle Abuse

• Speak Up: The first step is to speak up. If you are being abused, you need to cry for help. You can also record a discreet video as evidence so the necessary authorities will know that it is true. There are different bodies and NGOs that take up cases of abuse and ensure that victims get justice. You can reach out to such people to help you out.
• Separation: The next thing to do is to take the victim(s) including the children away from the abuser. This is usually done to save the lives of the victim and children. It is better to leave the abuser’s environment especially if your life is in danger
• Seek Counselling: Victims of abuse are usually traumatized due to the ill-treatment meted out on them. It is important to go for counselling in order to heal and come out of the effects of abuse. If the abuser is truly ready to desist from the act, he/she should go for counselling and be monitored. This should be done with caution as the abuser can pretend to be sorry and kill the victim once he/she moves back into the house.

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. As a person, don’t ignore any sign of abuse in your relationship. As a neighbour or friend, do not condone any act of abuse. Speak up today!

The post 7 Facts You Need to Know About Domestic Abuse appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Are you tired of staying broke after graduating from the university? You graduated from the university with an 80% possibility of landing your dream job, yet you are roaming the streets with no job. Knowing you have rents to pay and bills to sort out  hence the quest to survive. Let’s quickly go through 5 ways you can earn an income while job hunting.

Be an Adult-sitter/Babysitter

If you love to nurture, you could get a caregiver job looking after the young and elderly. Taking care of children and the aged are tasks that will always be in great demand. What is needed is a conducive environment, if you do not have the much needed space, you can babysit at your client’s house which makes it easier and cheaper for you. Talk to family and friends who can hook you up with someone who may  be in need of child/adult care services.

Whatever your hands find to do, you should do it well. Doing this diligently and passionately may turn to be a big business for you. You can carve a niche for yourself doing this. Soon enough, client will be calling for your service hence a job already for you.

Sell What You Don’t Need

Look around for electronics, furniture, and kitchen wares which are not in bad shape but for some reasons you stopped using them. You never can tell who may be in need of these items: You can sell at a cheaper rates and make some money off them. Do you have a neighbour who has an old items he or she will like to dispose? Why not be the middle man to help sell it and earn some few cash without stress.

Be Productive With Your Social Media Handle

With the advent of modern technology, everyone should be on at least one or all social media platforms. Your social media handle should not only be about pictures and videos except you are a model or fashion designer and you need to promote your goods. Make good use of your online platforms. You can start an online advertising firm by marketing a product, remember you can reach a wider audience via any of your handle. By doing this, you become an affiliate marketer (this has already created a job for you).

Be A Writer/ Start A Blog

If you have the passion for writing, this is the time for you to take your passion into consideration.  You can write articles for blog or write a book which can be sold as an E-book if you cannot afford to print them either ways your readers get to pay for it online. Also, there are sites you can visit to start a blog (Blogger.com, WordPress.com and Tumblr.com). Blogging is a good investment which requires little or no sum of money but has the potential to see you smiling to the bank.

Don’t Ignore That Odd Job

Have you ever heard the saying; ‘’Shit business is good business?” Dorr!! I am not asking you to go pick up faeces. If there are odd jobs you can’t be caught doing, why not give it a trial and pick it up. If you are handy, help repair a broken window, broken toilet seat or fix a broken chair. The list is endless, some of these odd jobs could fetch you some cool cash.

The key to making an income even while job hunting is to be the solution to someone’s problem. Look for a problem in your environment, come up with solutions to that problem and add your price tag!

The post Tired Of Staying Broke? Learn How To Earn An Income While Job Hunting appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

1. Blame:  This is quite a big word to use in the workplace. When you say blame, you create a kind of buzz. it is part of those words you cannot use in a healthy way, no matter how much it is coined.

2. Assume: Assumption leads to friction. it simply connotes that you are an indecisive person.  Be careful about saying the word “assuming”, either by mail or in a phone conversation. If you are yet to make up your mind, It is best to request for more time to think.

3. Subject: You can surely get away with calling your children or perhaps your family members subjects, if not jokingly but you cannot get away with referring to your fellow co-workers or the people below your rank, your subjects. It is wise you call them your subordinate even if it means the same thing but in different context.

4. Dumb: “Is that lady in human resources dumb?” This is wrong. Referring to someone as dumb does not show politeness. It is best to highlight the specific issue bugging you about the person rather than go about calling her dumb – most times, a constructive feedback is needed to make one sit up.

5. Fat or Obese: Just like beauty in the eyes of the beholder, everyone has a different view about a particular body stature, hence don’t bother to apply for the job of describing how a person is. In fact, don’t ever address people by their weight either by using the phrase “fat” or “obese”. Obese has a pretty negative interpretation.

6. Gunning: This connotes killing, beating and annihilating, to “gun” has a few negative meaning not intended for a friendly conversation. However, Sales people might be “gunning” for new clients, but remember that the word has a few obvious implications, which may be negative.

7. Stupid: Occasionally we are compelled to use harsh words such as “you must be stupid” “what stupid report is this?” especially when the situation or the environment is tensed. Using a phrase like this has a negative consequence capable of denting a relationship for life.

If you find yourself in a buzzy situation like this, use your words sparingly that could be the only thing that stands you out from the rest.

The post 7 Toxic Words Not to Be Used In the Workplace appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

An experienced driver could easily detect when a car is faulty, either from the sound of the car to the colour of the fumes that runs through the exhaust pipe. There are always signs given to ascertain when a car is faulty. The same can be said about a relationship. The good news is that you can be your own mechanic.

Before we waltz through the 4 indicating factors of a failing relationship, remember that conflict itself is not a problem. Conflict is ideally meant to arise when two people with different background, beliefs and upbringing come. This should have no bearing on the success of the relationship if handled properly. Follow each of the strategies provided to overcoming each of the deadly sign-posts.

1. Criticism: Criticism is the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes. It should not be mistaken for “giving constructive feedback” or a way to seek improvement or change in your partner. Your intention becomes criticism when you focus on your partner’s personality, character, or interests rather than the specific action or behaviour you would like to see changed – “you are terrible at writing, you are so disorganised, you are a big fat liar”…

2. Contempt: Contempt is the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration. It could be in the form of demeaning comments about your partner to another or direct insults. It could also be in the form of rolling of the eyes and coaching insults within the context of humour.

3. Defensiveness: Denying refers to generally making excuses for your mistakes or the inability to admit one’s wrongs. Being defensive has a tendency of aggravating even a calm person and prevents an issue from resolution. It will make it even difficult to concentrate on larger issues.

4. Stonewalling: Stonewalling can refer to delay or obstruct of your partner’s request by refusing to answer questions or by being evasive. Examples can be: being emotionally far, or lack of emotions. Stonewalling is problematic. It is capable of causing an unresolved divide between two partners – where they both would not be able to constructively explain the reason for their relationship failure.

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Heinrich Boll Scholarships in Germany for International Students

https://www.boell.de/en/scholarships-application

Deadline: 1 Mar (annual)

Opportunity to study in Germany

DAAD Masters Scholarships for Public Policy and Good Governance

https://www.daad.de/miniwebs/icostjerusalem/en/24639/index.html

Deadline: 31 July (annual)

Opportunity to study in Germany

DAAD Scholarships in Germany for Development-Related Postgraduate Courses

https://www.daad.de/deutschland/stipendium/datenbank/en/21148-scholarship-database/?detail=10000008

Deadline: Aug-Oct (annual)

Opportunity to study in Netherlands

Foundation Rainbow Bridge MBA Scholarships for African and Asian Women

http://www.mba.hec.edu/Fees-Funding/Scholarships/Fondation-Rainbow-Bridge

Deadline: 15 Jun/26 Nov (annual)

Opportunity to study in Paris, France

Leiden University Excellence Scholarships (LexS)

http://prospectivestudents.leiden.edu/scholarships/scholarship/lexs.html

Deadline: 1 Feb/1 Oct 2017 (annual)

Opportunity to study in Netherlands

DRD Scholarships for Sub-Saharan Africans

http://www.drd-sa.org/index.php/scholarships-in-development-studies.html

Deadline: 31 July (annual)

Opportunity to study in Germany

Denmark Government Scholarships for Non-EU Students

http://studyindenmark.dk/study-options/tuition-fees-scholarships

Deadline: varies, Mar-Apr/Sep-Oct

Opportunity to study in Denmark

Curtin University International Research Scholarships

https://scholarships.curtin.edu.au/scholarships/scholarship.cfm?id=2687.0

Deadline: varies

Opportunity to study in Australia

NYU Wagner Public Service Fellowships for African Women

http://wagner.nyu.edu/admissions/financial-aid/fellowships

Deadline: Jan-May (annual)

Opportunity to study in New York, USA

ANGUS-SAWISE Scholarships in Science and Engineering for African Women

http://www.advance-africa.com/Angus-Sawise-Scholarships-for-Women.html

Deadline: 30 November (annual)

Opportunity to study in any African country of your choice

GraçaMachel Scholarships for South African Women

http://www.canoncollins.org.uk/apply/scholarship/grac%CC%A7a-machel-scholarships

Deadline: 28 July (annual)

Opportunity to study in South Africa

Full Distance Learning Scholarships for East and South African Students at London South Bank University

http://www.advance-africa.com/Fully-Funded-Distance-Learning-Scholarships.html

Deadline: 4 May (annual)

Opportunity to pursue your masters online through scholarship

DRD PhD Scholarships in International Development Studies for Sub-Saharan Africans

http://www.drd-sa.org/index.php/scholarships-in-development-studies.html

Deadline: 2 May (annual)

Opportunity to study in Germany

Postgraduate Fellowships for Women Scientists from Sub-Saharan Africa and Least Developed Countries

http://www.owsd.net/career-development/phd-fellowship

Deadline: 31 July (annual)

Access to funding to study in any developed country.

Campbell Fellowship in Social Sciences for Women from Developing Countries

http://www.owsd.net/resources/opportunities

Research Fellowship

Deadline: 1 November (annual)

Opportunity to study in the USA

Leadership and Advocacy Fellowship Program for Women in Africa

https://www.law.georgetown.edu/academics/centers-institutes/wlppfp/lawa/

Deadline: Sept (annual)

Opportunity to study in the USA

MMMF Educational Grants in South Africa for Women from Developing Countries

http://www.mmmf-grants.org/home/south-africa-program

Deadline: 30 Aug (annual)

Opportunity to study in South Africa

In the course of the year, we would be expanding on each of these opportunities and discussing tips for a successful application. In the meantime, click on each of the aforementioned website, subscribe for its newsletter and never again will opportunities evade you.

Tomiwa Adeleye

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