Before you go on, let’s take a look at the big picture – counselling as an eye-opening tool for couple improvement, not a grim setting where someone talks over you and your partner’s head.
One of the most talked about life topics is marriage. Marriage often happens when two individuals like each other and intend to take the bold step to become an official couple. Considering the excitement of doing life with the one you love, it might be easy to think of the big wedding only. This is where counselling comes in.
For many people, having an eye on the big event may trump the substance of marriage. Considering the rate of divorce in recent times, understanding this thing called marriage with the help of experienced counsellors makes sense.
In this article, you will discover why pre-marital counselling should be in the cards for you and your soon-to-be partner.
Here are four reasons why you need to visit a counsellor with your lover before signing the dotted lines:
To Improve Anticipation
Saying ‘I love you’ to each other every minute of the day is not all there is to living with your lover for the rest of your life. There is a measure of tolerance, patience and understanding needed to make a success of your approaching marriage. Sitting with seasoned counsellors who have navigated the same terrain for many years will put the journey in perspective while equipping you and your significant other with key soft skills and conflict-resolution tools for the days ahead. Yet to consider it? Try it out today!
To Resolve Differences
The illusion that love is enough remains the reason why many relationships crumble under the slightest pressure. Having two people from different backgrounds in the same boat comes with unique challenges. These are people with unique outlooks on life. Thoughts on money, family and career can cause division if not discussed ahead of time. The best time to agree on such sensitive subjects is before. Hence, pre-marital counselling gives couples room to see weighty topics through the eyes of the next person and meet each other halfway before the journey begins.
To Foster Communication
Becoming one with someone you have fallen in love with is one thing. Staying in love with them in a long-term game that involves constant verbal and non-verbal exchange is another. This is where counselling comes in. Considering the unexpected twists and turns that are bound to show up on this lifelong journey and its impact on one’s health, understanding how the partner thinks and interprets every form of communication is important. With the input of the trained third party, thinking patterns are bound to come to the fore. This helps the couples know how to address each other respectfully, leaving the couple better than ever. Alternatively, some couples go through counselling and agree that they have no business taking the big step because of unique differences. Either way, it leaves both parties better than before. And in the long run, that is a good thing.
To Identify Patterns
Psychologists say there is usually a strong tendency to play out the familiar. What this means is that each person is bound to rely on their personal or learned experience in a particular terrain. For many people, watching their parents or older relatives in marriage creates their idea of what an ideal marriage should be. This is in spite of despising certain parts of the same. Over time, these examples embed themselves in our subconscious where the line between right and wrong may be blurred due to respect or repetition. This explains why many people get married and have certain ‘unspoken’ expectations of their partner.
During counselling, some exercises are carried out. This reveals hidden expectations and each person’s mindset ahead of time. There is also the likelihood of unresolved childhood traumas coming to light. These are events that have happened in a person’s childhood that have not been adequately processed and addressed. Leaving it unattended poses a threat to the success and longevity of the union in view. Fortunately, the potential stings in these issues can go away if both parties are open to resolving them during the sessions.
These are reasons why you should explore premarital counselling before the big day. Have you gone for counselling or know someone who has? Please share your experience by leaving a comment below.
Look out for the next article!