Sharing your life with your partner – the one you love – goes beyond having happy moments. Life is unpredictable and with each day comes the possibility of facing low moments when it is least expected. This means no matter how good you and your partner may be to each other, challenging situations such as loss or disappointments from trusted persons may appear. While it is impossible to avoid these down moments, knowing what to do can turn bad moments into bonding opportunities.
Here are four ways to support your partner when their smile suddenly becomes a frown:
Grant a Rant Pass
From heated arguments with their colleague at work to road accidents or a toothache, there are many valid reasons why your partner may feel the need to lash out at the air from pain or disappointments. This is your time to step back and give them room to pour out their anguish in words or in actions without making it out as an attack on your person.
A rant pass is not a physical item, it is a mental and emotional state of mind that offers safety. Your partner may let out expletives that will make the hair on your neck stand or yell when angry or disappointed, allow them. Step out of their space and give them room to do what makes them calm down. If they need a listening ear, go ahead and be their peace by offering your ears without judgement. They will come around and thank you for it.
Get Them Comfort Food
In a relationship, there will always be room to offer support in cash and kind. Knowing what works and presenting it with plenty of love and affection goes a long way. For downtimes when your partner slips into moments of despair, giving them food or snacks is a reasonable option to embrace. Some meals are known to be comfort meals because of their impact on dopamine and adrenaline levels. Such foods may be gotten from a restaurant or even whipped up at home in no time. However, what really counts is the thought of offering them something to eat when they least expect it, especially at a time that naturally makes it the last option. Try it and watch that frown turn into a smile in no time.
Give a Quick Massage
Wisdom and selflessness are two elements you must embody and lavish on your partner. In moments when your partner feels like all hope is lost or the world has come to an end, the gift of touch may be all they need to get over their feelings and move on to bigger things. If your partner is big on touch, that moment of despair offers you room to massage their body gently. This calms frayed nerves and helps them relax while giving you something productive to do. Focus on their back, feet and temple to turn that cranky partner into a sleeping baby. It works.
Offer Words of Advice
Depending on the kind of partner you have, it is important to know how to handle rants and meltdowns. While some persons prefer to be left alone to sulk or cry, some persons prefer to share their problems with trusted friends and come up with a solution. If your partner is all for solutions, hearing them speak about their challenge while listening and pondering on likely resolutions may just be the best approach to consider. All you have to do is locate a comfortable spot in the house or a quiet place and sit. Look your partner in the eye and smile as they pour out their minds in the way they can. Ask if they would rather have you respond while they speak or share your thoughts only after they are done.
This gives them a measure of safety while encouraging them to be as vulnerable as possible with you. At the same time, it makes your partner know you have got their back anytime they need a shoulder to lean on. Listening and offering likely solutions is a valuable way to show love in difficult times.
Think about it.
Bonus: Give Them Space
While all the aforementioned points focus on spending time with the partner in distress, knowing when to get out of their hair is a bonus. Based on experience and relationship, you should know your partner and what would work for them per time. While it is good to be present, stepping back may also be an effective way to help your partner cope with their challenges.
After doing all you can to physically calm them, you may need to excuse them so they are able to work out their distress alone. This would serve as me-time for them while giving them room to think or talk without interference.
Try out one or all of the five tips in this article and watch your partner appreciate you in ways words cannot describe. Have a productive week!
Keep on working, great job!
Great article, totally what I needed.