Emotional Intelligence: Signs that you are not as emotionally intelligent as you think

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, evaluate and manage effectively, your own emotions, and the emotions of those around you. Whereas, Emotional Quotient (EQ) is a term used in science to identify the level of emotional intelligence in human beings.

Having high EI means that you know yourself (what makes you happy, sad, angry, shy and so on), you understand yourself (consciously identify these moods) and you can control or manage yourself (determine how the mood control and forms you). Also, this means that you understand the other person’s differences and can effectively deal with their moods or emotions.

There is an online test that can be carried out to check how emotionally intelligent you are.  You should check it out.

What then are the signs that you are not emotionally intelligent?


Does pressure get you stressed up? When you bottle your feelings, they quickly heighten and build into anxiety, tension and stress. When this is not addressed appropriately, it strains the mind. When not handled well, leads to anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even thoughts of suicide.

Solution: Take a pause; identify the root cause and tackle it constructively before it escalates beyond control


Are you devoid of principles? Good manners, empathy, kindness and assertiveness have proven to be the most friendly and effective way to establish boundaries. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and unwavering and they stay clear of crude emotional reactions. With this, they are able to neutralise difficult and toxic people without creating enemies.

No Identity 

Can you describe exactly how you feel at every point in time? Most people with low Emotional Intelligence have a very little emotional vocabulary in their knowledge bank. When you don’t know how you feel, you misunderstand yourself. This often leads to irrational choice making and counter-productive actions.

Solution: Label your emotions. Once you have the right description of your feelings; may be “bad, irritable, frustrated, downtrodden, angry, anxious and so on”, you will know the cause and how to handle it.


Are you quick to making assumptions and defending them with all you’ve got! People with low EQ will gather every point to support their views while ignoring every contrary detail. More often than not, they argue ad nauseam, to support it.This is especially dangerous for leaders, as their under-thought-out ideas become the entire team’s strategy

Solution:  Every initial reaction is driven by emotion. Give your thoughts time to develop and consider the possible consequences and counter-arguments. Then,  communicate your developed idea in the most effective way possible, taking into account the needs and opinions of your audience.

There are several other signs that show the level of EQ. We would sure be publishing more in our next article, 8 Signs that proves you are not as emotionally intelligent as you think.


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