Consistency in marriage…


She woke up that morning, beaming with smile as she remembered how her husband pampered her to bed last night. She thought about all the happy moments she has been having in her 3 month old marriage; hoping these gestures and lovely memory never ends. She said to herself ‘marriage is indeed beautiful, whoever says otherwise should check themselves’ (so sweet right?).

Just few months after; still dwelling in the euphoria of love, she began to see some things that puts her trust to test but she could not bring herself to accept there is a problem in their marriage.

Many months into the marriage things changed, they started having some hot arguments that they could not even handle anymore; they cannot seem to understand each other anymore, any word she speaks usually arouse an unusual reaction by her husband. He no longer seemed like the man she married, he has become a total stranger. She couldn’t even bring herself to ask him because of the fear of being snapped at by him. She has had enough tears in her eyes these days and will not bring another crying moment upon herself by asking her husband, what had gone wrong.

Unknown to her, he is also disturbed with the thought of everything that is going home in his home, he is not happy and that has restricted him from coming home early from work because his wife has suddenly turned to a nag, he is not ready to go home to another argument with his lovely wife that has abruptly taken a new turn in attitude. He began to take consolation in friends, drinks and girls just to take his mind off worries till he gets back home to the nag of a wife he married.

This is the major problem in some home and I begin to wonder what went wrong. I keep asking that question each time I see young once lovey-dovey couple having issues in their marriage. I realised consistency is one of the factor that affects every relationship. Some women become relaxed once they get married and they fail to take care of themselves and their husband as they used to before marriage and they expect the same treatment. Change will definitely be accepted by another change, some think they are now married and do not need those commitment they put into their relationship anymore, failing to realise that could be the reason they were chosen in the first place. Some men withdrew the attention the showered their wives during their courtship days once they get married, yet they expect to be accepted without complaint. Of course it is not possible, you cannot start something and not finish it as that could be the reason you were accepted.

In every relationship, consistency is the watch word; do not relent on the effort you put before marriage; in fact get better at treating your spouse specially and your marriage can only get better and stronger daily. Do not forget to treat each other to some special outing occasionally, still create time to talk as friends, laugh, and see movies together, spice up your marriage in different interesting ways. By doing that instead of holding grudges you will sort out your problems daily just by discussing it…

‘Tayo Ejikunle

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