Navigating the Emotional Effects of a Broken Marriage

The emotional fallout of a broken marriage is significant and can leave lasting scars on both spouses. Feelings of grief, anger, loneliness, and betrayal are all too common. The sense of failure associated with the dissolution of a broken marriage can be particularly devastating, shattering the hopes and dreams built together.

• Grief and Loss: The end of a marriage signifies the loss of a shared life, dreams, and a sense of security. Spouses may experience a period of intense grief similar to the loss of a loved one. This can manifest in withdrawal, tearfulness, and a deep sense of sadness.
• Anger and Resentment: One or both partners may harbor anger and resentment towards the other, fueled by feelings of betrayal, hurt, or a sense of injustice. These negative emotions can fester and make it difficult to move forward with the healing process.
• Loneliness and Isolation: The breakdown of a broken marriage often leads to a loss of social connections, especially if the couple shared a close network of friends and family. Spouses may feel isolated and alone, struggling to navigate their new reality.
• Identity Crisis: A broken marriage can lead to a crisis of identity, particularly if the couple has been married for a long time. Spouses may question their self-worth and grapple with a redefined sense of who they are.

These emotional struggles can manifest in various ways, including:

• Depression and Anxiety: The stress and upheaval of a broken marriage can be a significant trigger for clinical depression and anxiety.
• Difficulty Trusting Others: Past experiences with betrayal in a broken marriage can make it challenging to form new romantic relationships and trust potential partners.
• Low Self-Esteem: Feelings of failure and rejection associated with a broken marriage can negatively impact self-worth and lead to low self-esteem.

The Financial Repercussions of a Broken Marriage

Divorce, a legal consequence of a broken marriage, can have a significant financial impact on both spouses. Here’s a breakdown of some key financial considerations that arise due to the effects of broken marriage:

• Division of Assets and Debts: Marital assets like property, vehicles, and bank accounts need to be divided equitably during a divorce. Debts incurred during the marriage also need to be addressed in a fair and legal manner.
• Spousal Support: Depending on the circumstances of the broken marriage and the financial situation of each spouse, one spouse may be required to provide financial support to the other, particularly if there is a significant disparity in income.
• Child Support: If there are children involved in the broken marriage, child support payments are established to ensure their financial well-being. These payments are typically determined by the court based on factors like income and living arrangements.
• Increased Living Expenses: Maintaining two separate households often leads to increased living expenses for both spouses. This can strain budgets and impact financial security, especially for those already struggling financially.
• Impact on Credit Score: Divorce can negatively impact credit scores due to factors like dividing debt or difficulty managing separate finances. This can make it challenging to qualify for loans or mortgages in the future, further hindering financial stability.

These financial burdens can create stress and anxiety, further exacerbating the emotional difficulties associated with the broken marriage. Financial strain can also lead to arguments and conflict, especially during the negotiation of settlements and child support agreements.

The Impact on Children

Children are often considered the most vulnerable casualties of a broken marriage. They may experience a range of emotional and behavioral challenges due to the effects of broken marriage, including:

• Confusion and Fear: Children may struggle to understand why their parents are separating and worry about their future. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and instability, impacting their sense of safety and well-being.
• Anger and Resentment: Children may feel angry or resentful towards one or both parents, especially if they believe they are responsible for the divorce. They may lash out or act out in an attempt to express these negative emotions.
• Behavioral Issues: The stress and upheaval of a broken marriage can manifest in children through behavioral problems like withdrawal, aggression, or academic difficulties. They may struggle to concentrate in school or engage in activities they once enjoyed.
• Long-Term Effects: The experience of a broken marriage can have long-term consequences for children, impacting their self-esteem, their ability to form healthy relationships, and their overall well-being. Studies have shown that children of divorce are more likely to experience academic difficulties, substance abuse issues, and mental health problems in adulthood.

Parents going through a divorce can minimize the negative impact on their children by:

• Prioritizing Open Communication: Children need honest and age-appropriate explanations about the divorce in a way that is free from blame. Open communication helps to alleviate confusion and fosters a sense of trust.
• Maintaining a Secure and Loving Environment: Despite the separation, both parents should strive to provide a sense of stability and love for their children. This can involve maintaining routines, offering emotional support, and ensuring children feel loved and valued by both parents.
• Minimizing Conflict: Children should not be exposed to parental arguments or be used as pawns in a custody battle. Keeping conflict out of sight and out of mind helps to protect children’s emotional well-being.
• Seeking Professional Help: If children are struggling to cope with the effects of broken marriage, therapy can be invaluable in helping them process their emotions and adjust to the new family dynamic. A therapist can provide children with a safe space to express their feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

By prioritizing their children’s well-being and working together to create a supportive environment, parents can help their children navigate the challenges of a broken marriage and emerge stronger on the other side.

Effects on Extended Family and Social Circles

The effects of broken marriage can ripple outwards, impacting extended family and social circles in various ways. Here’s a closer look:

• Strain on Family Relationships: The stress and conflict surrounding the divorce can strain relationships with parents, siblings, and in-laws. Family members may feel caught in the middle, unsure of who to side with or how to offer support. This can lead to tension, arguments, and a fracturing of close family bonds.
• Loss of Social Support System: Couples often share a network of friends and family. The divorce can lead to a loss of social support for both spouses, as navigating social situations together can become awkward or uncomfortable. Friends may feel unsure of how to act or who to remain close to, leading to a withdrawal from both sides.
• Impact on Children’s Relationships: Children of divorce may also experience a loss of connection with extended family and friends. Custody arrangements and strained relationships between parents can make it difficult for children to maintain regular contact with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and close family friends. This can further isolate children and exacerbate feelings of loneliness.

Societal Implications of Broken Marriage

The prevalence of broken marriages can also have broader societal implications. Here are some key considerations:

• Impact on Child Well-Being: Studies have shown that children of divorce are more likely to experience social, emotional, and academic problems. This can put a strain on social services and educational institutions.
• Economic Costs: Divorce can be financially draining for individuals, families, and society as a whole. Costs associated with litigation, child support, and single-parent households can place a burden on social safety nets.
• Shifting Family Dynamics: Rising divorce rates contribute to a shift in family dynamics, with an increase in single-parent households and blended families. While these family structures can be just as fulfilling, they may require additional societal support systems to ensure the well-being of all members.

Mitigating the Effects of Broken Marriage

While the effects of broken marriage can be significant, there are steps that can be taken to mitigate them. Here are some suggestions:

• Premarital Counseling: Couples considering marriage can benefit from premarital counseling, which equips them with communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and a deeper understanding of each other’s expectations.
• Focus on Conflict Resolution: Learning healthy conflict resolution techniques can help couples navigate disagreements constructively and potentially avoid situations that could lead to divorce.
• Marriage Counseling: If couples are struggling in their marriage, seeking professional help from a therapist can be invaluable. Therapy can provide a safe space for couples to communicate openly, address underlying issues, and work towards reconciliation.
• Support Groups: Support groups for individuals going through divorce can provide a sense of community, understanding, and shared experience. These groups can offer emotional support and practical advice during a challenging time.

By prioritizing healthy communication, seeking professional help when needed, and accessing available support systems, individuals and families can navigate the challenges of broken marriage and build a brighter future.

Conclusion

The breakdown of a marriage is a complex and emotionally charged event with far-reaching consequences. The effects of broken marriage impact not only the spouses themselves but also children, extended family, social circles, and even society at large. Understanding these effects and taking steps to mitigate them can help individuals, families, and communities cope with the challenges of divorce and build resilience in the face of adversity.

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Identifying the Sources of Family Drama

Before we dive into the solutions, it’s crucial to understand the root causes of family drama. Some common sources include:

• Communication breakdown: Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
• Different values and beliefs: Clashing values and beliefs can create tension and disagreements.
• Unresolved issues: Unaddressed problems can simmer beneath the surface, causing resentment and anger.
• External factors: External influences like social media, friends, and societal expectations can also contribute to family drama.

Effective Strategies for Managing Family Drama

1. Improve Communication

• Practice active listening: Pay attention to what your family members are saying and show empathy.
• Use ‘I’ statements: Express your feelings and thoughts without blaming or accusing others.
• Set clear boundaries: Establish respect and understanding by setting clear expectations.

2. Address Issues Head-On

• Identify the problem: Be honest and acknowledge the issue.
• Use constructive conflict resolution: Address the issue in a respectful and calm manner.
• Seek mediation: If necessary, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor.

3. Embrace Forgiveness and Understanding

• Let go of grudges: Release resentment and anger, and work towards forgiveness.
• Show empathy and compassion: Try to see things from your family member’s perspective.
• Practice self-reflection: Recognize your own flaws and weaknesses to better understand others.

4. Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Care

• Establish personal space: Set boundaries to protect your physical and emotional well-being.
• Prioritize self-care: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
• Seek support: Reach out to friends, support groups, or therapy for additional guidance and care.

5. Seek Professional Help

• Family therapy: Consider seeking the help of a professional therapist or counselor.
• Individual counseling: Address personal issues and develop coping strategies.
• Support groups: Join a support group to connect with others who face similar challenges.

Conclusion

Dealing with family drama can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By understanding the sources of family drama and implementing effective strategies, you can maintain healthy relationships with your loved ones. Remember to prioritize communication, address issues head-on, embrace forgiveness and understanding, set boundaries, and seek professional help when needed. With time, patience, and effort, you can overcome family drama and nurture positive, loving connections with your family members.

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What is the secret glue that holds a marriage together? Love? Sex? Money? Friendship?

Depending on your marital status-single or married, you are likely to finger sex as the answer to the question.

Is sex an intense act of expressing love or a genital meet & greet? Your response may depend on your marital status as unmarried people think all married people do is have sex.

Whether this is right or wrong depends on the parties involved in the relationship. However, sexual relations or simply put, sex in marriage is a major determinant of marital health. An increase, a decrease or a change in the overall experience may help couples gauge their marital temperature correctly.

Don’t think this is not an important part of marriage? think again. Many counsellors and sex therapists spend most of their time identifying reasons for a change in sexual patterns while proferring solutions for couples under pressure to improve in this area. If you are about to be or already married and looking to guess the likely reason for a decrease in coitus, you are in the right place.

Here are five possible reasons why your sex life may not be adding up:

1. Work Stress

The average human spends most of their life working. Your job affects you both positively and negatively. Finding fulfilment in your work makes it easy to see its impact on bedroom matters. Interestingly, it is not easy to draw a straight line from work to a decline in sex within marriage. It is easy to forget how one part of our lives affects the other parts, directly or indirectly. Sex is an act of intimacy that involves both body and soul. Apart from being physically demanding, the quality of sexual relations between a couple depends on their emotional balance as well.

A bad day at work could impact the fulfilment of this marital rite negatively. Focusing on extremely hard work instead of smart work may put you and your partner in an unhealthy sexual position. To curb this, start by reviewing your work pattern. Also, do everything possible to work smart while maintaining a positive mindset during work and at the close of business. Getting home in high spirits will help you put your energy to good use in the bedroom.

2. Bad Nutrition

This is another likely cause of sexual challenges in marriage. The cliche ‘Garbage in, Garbage out‘, helps put this in perspective. A review of how the body interacts with food helps shed light on the role of food in sexual matters. Nutrients such as carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals among other important elements nourish the body and sharpen the mind. Poor eating habits burden your organs and force your body to extract non-existent energy from your cells.

The body receives signals from the brain when certain nutrients are not available. These signals can make your body strip your cells of important nutrients to keep you going. This action could lead to a nutrition deficit or imbalance which leaves you weaker than you should be. What does this mean for the time spent with your partner during sex? Perhaps a reduction or the need to stop abruptly to recoup lost energy. The impact of this on the quality of sex goes without saying. The logical way out is to take a deeper look at your feeding habits. Does your meal have the right balance of vegetables, fruits and other essential elements? Will it nourish the body and soul? Does your food supply the body with the necessary amount of energy it needs to function? Think about it.

3. Wrong Knowledge

According to research, many people learn about sex by watching and interacting with pornographic materials. Invariably, this would mean either of two things: 1. Many people have the wrong idea of what sex should be like 2. Certain unreal expectations may be attached to this important ingredient for marital bonding. It is possible that pornography may have a few good sides. However, pornography makes it easy to see sex as a selfish act or a means to a highly pleasurable end.

How sex is displayed or described in pornographic videos or reading materials makes this so. It is an open secret that stimulants are used to help the actors in pornographic materials get into character. This makes expecting a similar performance from your partner unrealistic. Therefore, counsellors and sex therapists are in the best position to assist couples who want to explore and enjoy sex.

The next reason sheds more light on this point. Keep reading.

4. Poor Communication

Communication goes beyond talking; it involves the use of verbal and non-verbal cues during the exchange of messages. This means partners are bound to pay attention to what is expressed by their significant other. If a couple is not able to clearly express or interpret pleasure or pain, there could be tension. This might make one party endure or avoid sex every chance they get.

Your partner may not enjoy certain acts during sex. Discuss this while preserving the next person’s dignity. That is one way to initiate the move from bad to enjoyable. Also, consider a session with a sex therapist to gain positive knowledge and a deep understanding of your partner’s needs.

5. Personal Hygiene

The parts of the body involved and the exchange of bodily fluids make sex an extremely sensitive and intimate act. This means the difference between good and bad sexual experiences may be (un)cleanliness. If your partner is constantly looking for a cop-out, you may be giving ‘dirty’ vibes that make your partner uncomfortable.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself. Do I smell nice? Does my breath stink? Maybe my nether region needs grooming? Is my pH balanced? Do I need a bath? Are the bedsheets clean? Does my hair smell damp?

Getting the answers to these questions may be a game-changer.

Male or female, you want to show up for the act of lovemaking in your cleanest and most attractive form. This includes paying attention to every part of your body and your smell. A visit to a health expert (like a gynaecologist) may help you get the nether region in order. Remember that the state of your body and smell impacts how sex plays out. Don’t leave this to chance. Do right by your body and raise the bar of the sexual frequency in your relationship.

Any of the above may be a possible reason for poor sexual pleasure. It is important to understand that there may be bad sex days. Shit happens. Having constant bad days every other day is a major cause of concern. If this has become normal in your relationship, address it so your partner does not seek sexual pleasure elsewhere.

Now you know five likely reasons why your sex life may need a fix. The next article gives practical steps to getting your sex life back on track. Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Keep winning!

The post Five Reasons Why Your Sex Life Is Not Adding Up appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

February is the month of love. However, every day is another opportunity to love yourself better. Considering how much attention Valentine’s Day gets every year, you are about to find out how to deliberately love yourself.

1. Affirm Yourself

The mistake many people make is constantly waiting for love and affection from somebody else. In the event that there is no lover to do this for you, filling that void on your own is the best way to go. All it takes is standing in front of a mirror and speaking good words aloud. This helps boost your self-esteem while giving you the chance to see yourself as a total human worthy of love and validation.

2. Splurge on Yourself

Saving is a great way to plan for your future. However, there are moments you need to treat yourself nicely. Outsourcing personal enjoyment to other parties may leave you feeling resentful. There are moments you need to go above and beyond for yourself. Identify such moments and draw up a plan to show yourself love on a budget. Easy activities such as eating out, buying a special gift on a day of your choice and changing an item that has served you for a long time remain options to try out. Do this and watch your soul thank you.

3. Celebrate Loved Ones

There is more to love and affection than romantic relationships. In a world where there is always so much to do, it is easy to focus on finding a significant other and forget your family and friends. The family and friends you have gotten from childhood remain an important part of your life. These are people who knew and loved you when there was no real reason to. They bring a special balance to your world whether it is obvious or not. By calling, texting or paying a visit to these awesome people, you nurture these lifelong relationships and attract unconditional love that makes you feel whole and well. The good feeling of seeing them enjoy your attention will make you smile. Try this out today!

4. Move Your Body

In this digital age, the sedentary lifestyle remains a constant. From scrolling through different timelines to staring at laptop screens, it takes conscious efforts to get movement-induced dopamine today. Studies have shown that the key to a healthy lifestyle is intentional movements. This is why you should treat yourself to physical activities such as dance, yoga and cardio at least 2-3 times a week. This impacts your mind, body and soul in ways that only years can reveal. Add this to your weekly routine and get the chance to feel like a brand-new you always.

5. Lean Into Nature

Staring at the wall, screens and busy roads from the window remains the norm in this fast-paced world. These and many other indoor habits have the tendency to leave you mentally tired and drained. This does not only impact the body, it also affects the mind. According to science, experiencing nature in form of green scenery, the sea and sunlight improves dopamine and vitamin D levels positively. This does not only help you relax as a person, but it also gives you the boost needed to focus on and complete daily tasks. Also, the occasional silence and gentle sounds associated with nature can help you meditate while calming the noise in your head. Nature speaks if you open your heart. Show yourself intense love and calm your frayed nerves by exploring the great outdoors today.

There you have it! Five easy ways to love yourself fiercely. Stop waiting for others to show you love. You have one life to live. Enjoy it by showing yourself love every single day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

The post Five Ways to Love Yourself Better As a Single appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

1. Living Alone

In many parts of the world, staying in a house with parents and siblings remains a welcome option. Apart from the ability to manage expenses and enjoy the warmth of family, this option offers a full house situation where there is no alone time. However, considering how life changes drastically after the wedding, moving out to stay by yourself gives you room to do certain activities without help. Activities such as cooking, planning a meal budget, cleaning and decorating become your personal responsibility upon living alone.

This move will help set the tone for when you and your significant other will live together without family members. You also get the time to take charge of your space and schedule on your own. While moving in with the significant other upon marriage offers companionship, the ability to be your own person will also help you balance your needs and your spouse’s need for personal space.

2. Travel Solo

Exploring a different part of the state, country or continent is one step you should take before getting hitched. Apart from the possibility of making new friends, this also serves as a conversation starter in future. On the journey to unfamiliar spaces, there is room to be you with reckless abandon.

The memories created on such journeys become propellers for career and relationship growth upon marriage. If you go all out alone while your significant other does the same alone, time spent together before and after marriage will become more robust and entertaining. Think about it.

3. Think Investment

Marriage makes two become one in every way. From the personal stuff to the financials, every conversation goes from me to us. It goes without saying that a strong tendency to focus on the next person’s needs and collective bills might get in the way of amassing wealth. This is why setting up an investment fund and acquiring property should be explored before the rings are in place. Of course, this would depend on income levels. However, this can be done with a realistic and smart plan in place. Take baby steps by getting knowledge from bankers and property experts while setting aside some money every month towards a selected and pocket-friendly investment. Your future will thank you.

4. Embrace Selfcare

In many parts of the world especially in Africa, it is believed that the burden of self-care for women rests on their partners. This implies that spending quality time and paying attention to oneself may be intertwined with romantic relationships or marriage. While that may be an avenue to bond, it is important to state that self-care should begin with you whether marriage beckons or not. Daily living is quite demanding and stress is part of life. Accumulated stress may take its toll on your health at any time. This is why it is advisable to take out time to visit the spa, eat right and buy personal gifts regardless of marital status.

Doing this sets a precedent that becomes easy to keep up with even after the wedding. While this keeps you healthy, it also shows your significant other how to pamper you. Set the tone and watch your partner follow!

5. Visit a Therapist

Typically, this should fall under self-care. However, because of the promise it packs and its importance, therapy stands alone as one major option to explore before signing the dotted lines. This will not only help you heal from unresolved trauma, but it also offers you room to prepare better for the big day. What could be better than being the best person for your partner?

There you have it! Five solid ways to prepare for the journey of a lifetime. Don’t forget to share it with the ones you love and look out for the next article!

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Sharing your life with your partner – the one you love – goes beyond having happy moments. Life is unpredictable and with each day comes the possibility of facing low moments when it is least expected. This means no matter how good you and your partner may be to each other, challenging situations such as loss or disappointments from trusted persons may appear. While it is impossible to avoid these down moments, knowing what to do can turn bad moments into bonding opportunities.

Here are four ways to support your partner when their smile suddenly becomes a frown:

Grant a Rant Pass

From heated arguments with their colleague at work to road accidents or a toothache, there are many valid reasons why your partner may feel the need to lash out at the air from pain or disappointments. This is your time to step back and give them room to pour out their anguish in words or in actions without making it out as an attack on your person.

A rant pass is not a physical item, it is a mental and emotional state of mind that offers safety. Your partner may let out expletives that will make the hair on your neck stand or yell when angry or disappointed, allow them. Step out of their space and give them room to do what makes them calm down. If they need a listening ear, go ahead and be their peace by offering your ears without judgement. They will come around and thank you for it.

Get Them Comfort Food

In a relationship, there will always be room to offer support in cash and kind. Knowing what works and presenting it with plenty of love and affection goes a long way. For downtimes when your partner slips into moments of despair, giving them food or snacks is a reasonable option to embrace. Some meals are known to be comfort meals because of their impact on dopamine and adrenaline levels. Such foods may be gotten from a restaurant or even whipped up at home in no time. However, what really counts is the thought of offering them something to eat when they least expect it, especially at a time that naturally makes it the last option. Try it and watch that frown turn into a smile in no time.

Give a Quick Massage

Wisdom and selflessness are two elements you must embody and lavish on your partner. In moments when your partner feels like all hope is lost or the world has come to an end, the gift of touch may be all they need to get over their feelings and move on to bigger things. If your partner is big on touch, that moment of despair offers you room to massage their body gently. This calms frayed nerves and helps them relax while giving you something productive to do. Focus on their back, feet and temple to turn that cranky partner into a sleeping baby. It works.

Offer Words of Advice

Depending on the kind of partner you have, it is important to know how to handle rants and meltdowns. While some persons prefer to be left alone to sulk or cry, some persons prefer to share their problems with trusted friends and come up with a solution. If your partner is all for solutions, hearing them speak about their challenge while listening and pondering on likely resolutions may just be the best approach to consider. All you have to do is locate a comfortable spot in the house or a quiet place and sit. Look your partner in the eye and smile as they pour out their minds in the way they can. Ask if they would rather have you respond while they speak or share your thoughts only after they are done.

This gives them a measure of safety while encouraging them to be as vulnerable as possible with you. At the same time, it makes your partner know you have got their back anytime they need a shoulder to lean on. Listening and offering likely solutions is a valuable way to show love in difficult times.

Think about it.

Bonus: Give Them Space

While all the aforementioned points focus on spending time with the partner in distress, knowing when to get out of their hair is a bonus. Based on experience and relationship, you should know your partner and what would work for them per time. While it is good to be present, stepping back may also be an effective way to help your partner cope with their challenges.

After doing all you can to physically calm them, you may need to excuse them so they are able to work out their distress alone. This would serve as me-time for them while giving them room to think or talk without interference.

Try out one or all of the five tips in this article and watch your partner appreciate you in ways words cannot describe. Have a productive week!

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Distance should not be the reason for a breakdown in connection. In recent times, changing location for the purpose of education, job opportunities, personal improvement and family goals has become the norm. Despite these valid reasons, moving to a different continent brings unique challenges including keeping one away from one’s partner and family members.

While the effects may come in different forms and distance, it is important to find ways around this uncomfortable but necessary challenge associated with change.

In this article, you will discover four ways to keep your relationship going albeit from a distance. Ready? Let’s dive in!

Share Moments

One of the downsides of living in different time zones is the challenge of calling or discussing in real time. However, with social media apps such as WhatsApp, there is no distance that cannot be bridged. Sharing pictures with little notes about every event as it happens or every other hour will definitely keep the conversation going. This also keeps you and your partner at the top of your mind around the clock. In addition, videos may be added to this to remind the recipient about your mannerisms. This will make them miss you while giving you the chance to pour out your heart to your soulmate 24/7.

Talk More

Improving the quality of intimacy from a distance requires creativity. The good thing is there is endless access to your partner if you make use of the tools within your reach. From WhatsApp to Microsoft Teams to Slack to Google Meet, there are options that do not attract high charges, thanks to wifi and mobile data. Leaving a video of you wishing your partner a good day or saying a prayer will go a long way. What is even better is exchanging your prayer or good wishes for the day in person with a smile on your face. With these tools, you also get to schedule a fixed time for daily or bi-hourly calls if you wish. Staying in touch will always trump making excuses. Give your partner the gift of joy and happiness from a distance, talk more!

Share Updates

This is a super important move especially if you have children. One of the challenges of living apart is the possibility of missing important events and milestones. From missing your child’s first steps to not being part of their birthdays, distance has a way of making you feel guilty. Before you begin to feel bad, cast your mind back to why you are not physically together and find comfort. Also, make it a point of duty to ask about particular events you hold dear to your heart so your partner can fill in the blanks for you.

This not only strengthens your bond but also provides more topics for conversation. This can be done via emails or google docs depending on what works for both of you. In addition, your chats can serve as a communication channel with multimedia files where possible. The highlight may be having the children say hello when there is room to do that. Weekdays or weekends work, as long as it is convenient for everyone.

Plan Together

Distance does not stop your family goals from finding expression. In fact, it should serve as a foundation for keeping the love embers aflame while keeping you and your spouse on the same page. Typically, couples tend to set mutually-dependent goals every other month. If you do, these targets should not go cold because of distance. Thanks to tools like Google sheet and drive, it is possible to make a neat list of these agreed goals with standard timelines, action points and key resources.

With this virtual plan, you and your partner can hold each other accountable and provide updates from time to time. Think of it as a virtual plan to help you two make progress regardless of distance. Think about it.

If you were worrying about what your relationship would become because of distance, you have four simple tips to make it better than ever. Do you have any other tip you would like to add based on your experience? Kindly share in the comment section. The next article will take your relationship to a whole new level. Don’t miss it!

The post 4 Ways to Have a Great Long Distance Relationship appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Before you go on, let’s take a look at the big picture – counselling as an eye-opening tool for couple improvement, not a grim setting where someone talks over you and your partner’s head.

One of the most talked about life topics is marriage. Marriage often happens when two individuals like each other and intend to take the bold step to become an official couple. Considering the excitement of doing life with the one you love, it might be easy to think of the big wedding only. This is where counselling comes in.

For many people, having an eye on the big event may trump the substance of marriage. Considering the rate of divorce in recent times, understanding this thing called marriage with the help of experienced counsellors makes sense.

In this article, you will discover why pre-marital counselling should be in the cards for you and your soon-to-be partner.

Here are four reasons why you need to visit a counsellor with your lover before signing the dotted lines:

To Improve Anticipation

Saying ‘I love you’ to each other every minute of the day is not all there is to living with your lover for the rest of your life. There is a measure of tolerance, patience and understanding needed to make a success of your approaching marriage. Sitting with seasoned counsellors who have navigated the same terrain for many years will put the journey in perspective while equipping you and your significant other with key soft skills and conflict-resolution tools for the days ahead. Yet to consider it? Try it out today!

To Resolve Differences

The illusion that love is enough remains the reason why many relationships crumble under the slightest pressure. Having two people from different backgrounds in the same boat comes with unique challenges. These are people with unique outlooks on life. Thoughts on money, family and career can cause division if not discussed ahead of time. The best time to agree on such sensitive subjects is before. Hence, pre-marital counselling gives couples room to see weighty topics through the eyes of the next person and meet each other halfway before the journey begins.

To Foster Communication

Becoming one with someone you have fallen in love with is one thing. Staying in love with them in a long-term game that involves constant verbal and non-verbal exchange is another. This is where counselling comes in. Considering the unexpected twists and turns that are bound to show up on this lifelong journey and its impact on one’s health, understanding how the partner thinks and interprets every form of communication is important. With the input of the trained third party, thinking patterns are bound to come to the fore. This helps the couples know how to address each other respectfully, leaving the couple better than ever. Alternatively, some couples go through counselling and agree that they have no business taking the big step because of unique differences. Either way, it leaves both parties better than before. And in the long run, that is a good thing.

To Identify Patterns

Psychologists say there is usually a strong tendency to play out the familiar. What this means is that each person is bound to rely on their personal or learned experience in a particular terrain. For many people, watching their parents or older relatives in marriage creates their idea of what an ideal marriage should be. This is in spite of despising certain parts of the same. Over time, these examples embed themselves in our subconscious where the line between right and wrong may be blurred due to respect or repetition. This explains why many people get married and have certain ‘unspoken’ expectations of their partner.

During counselling, some exercises are carried out. This reveals hidden expectations and each person’s mindset ahead of time. There is also the likelihood of unresolved childhood traumas coming to light. These are events that have happened in a person’s childhood that have not been adequately processed and addressed. Leaving it unattended poses a threat to the success and longevity of the union in view. Fortunately, the potential stings in these issues can go away if both parties are open to resolving them during the sessions.

These are reasons why you should explore premarital counselling before the big day. Have you gone for counselling or know someone who has? Please share your experience by leaving a comment below.

Look out for the next article!

The post Marriage Counselling: 4 Reasons to Explore It appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

It is generally believed that marriage naturally favours the male gender. From having a home to go to, to having someone carry and bear their offspring, there are many reasons why marriage seems to benefit the menfolk. However, it is safe to say that this belief is slowly fading away as many men claim that they are no longer looking to settle down with one person.

After asking random men questions and hearing their answers, here are ten reasons why men no longer look forward to marriage:

1. Fear of Commitment

Based on recent developments, many men no longer want to be attached to one woman as required within the tenets of marriage. While living single guarantees unending access to different types of women without guilt, marriage requires committing to ONLY one woman. This means spending time, and attention while focusing on one woman only. This may not sound like fun to a man who believes having a new woman to excite him every week or month is the way to go. While staying with one woman may be ideal, new-generation men may find the concept of committing to one challenging. Considering the ‘variety’ lifestyle readily available in the world today, this change does not necessarily come as a surprise.

2. Career Focus

Some men starting a career or hoping to grow in their career at times defer their relationship goals to focus on their career and avoid any distractions. This is to give them the time and focus needed to grow, especially in demanding careers. In light of these strong career goals, spending time to build a relationship would not rank high on their to-do list. This is why relationships for many men take the back burner until they get to their preferred level on the ladder and decide to get a partner to help them in the future.

3. Fear of Financial Responsibilities

Being truly interested in having a partner means knowing the place of money and responsibilities in marriage. Such responsibilities include paying rent for a bigger place, spending money on a big wedding and taking care of school and hospital fees when children come into the picture, there is definitely so much to be expected of a married man. This explains why many men may no longer want to get married especially if they believe they do not have the financial capabilities needed to sustain a marriage. Bills put immense pressure on men financially and the phobia of this pressure can make them decide not to get married.

4. Past Relationship Experiences

Men who have had bad relationships or marriages in the past can be afraid of new commitments. This is due to the trauma of the things they have experienced in their previous relationships. It is however necessary for men with bad relationship experiences to see a counsellor. This step would allow them to heal correctly while also helping them get over any phobia they may have about entering a new relationship.

5. Love for Independence

Accountability remains a vital part of the marriage institution. This means you always have to share details of your actions, plans, whereabouts and more with your significant other. Based on upbringing, some men love their freedom and are not willing to let go of it. This means they are not ready for co-dependence to have successful marriages and relationships. In light of this, marriage is not a good step for them.

6. Divorce Phobia

The current high divorce rate is another reason why some men may not want to marry. The cost of divorce is quite high and many men are not willing to pay such a price. This cost includes financial costs and emotional costs. Financial costs include loss of assets, loss of income due to alimony payment, and loss of time due to the adjoining court process. The emotional costs are heartbreaks, separation from children, and the pain associated with these. Considering how much divorce takes out of affected parties, staying single as a man seems like a better option.

7. Alternative Lifestyle

Some men are comfortable being single and they are really not interested in marriage. As long as they are comfortable with their life choices and are not bothered by the possibility of loneliness, staying unmarried is not a challenge to them.

8. Zero Desire for Children

In many parts of the world, children are considered a success symbol for married couples. As beautiful as the idea of children may be, birthing them comes with so much responsibility that some men are willing to stay without them. This means men who love their freedom and do not want to have children may avoid marriage as having a wife could increase the possibility of having children whether they like it or not. Therefore staying single remains the best way to avoid this conundrum.

9. Lack of Attraction

Men may not be deeply attracted to the women around them or the woman they are in a relationship with. This would mean that they do not want to settle with their current woman but would rather wait for the more attractive option. There are many reasons for this. However, this makes these men uninterested in marriage until the woman who fits their vision of the perfect one shows up. It might take years or decades before this preferred woman shows up which reduces the possibility of getting married to the barest minimum.

This list is not exhaustive as every man is different and unique and the reason they do not want to marry remains unique to them. Others may have multiple concerns and reasons for not wanting to marry. Whatever the reasons are, it is good to discuss your desire for marriage with the man you are in a relationship with. This is to be sure that they share this desire with you and avoid future frustrations.

The post Why Men Don’t Want to Get Married Anymore appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.

Every year, the month of November offers a chance to celebrate the men in our lives. From words of affirmation to items that show appreciation for how much love the men we celebrate have shown us, there are many ideas to try out this season. Getting a gift and creating a life-changing experience should rank high on your to-do list for international men’s day. 

By the end of this article, we will know what to do differently and figure out how to create memories for the men without leaving that bank account in the red.  

Here are five gift options for the man you love:

1. Think Fragrances

A solid way to stand out from the crowd is to smell great. This means you can never go wrong with perfumes. Perfumes come in different shapes, types and forms. There are many fragrance types to make this happen. With many affordable to pricey options to choose from, you are on your way to making that man smile and boosting his ego around the clock. 

2. Consider Meals

The saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” comes to mind. Getting into the kitchen feels like a chore for many people, no man is too serious to push food aside. Platters do the trick. All it takes is planning and booking a chef at a pocket-friendly cost and the day (or week) is made for that man. Yes, it is that simple! 

3. Accessories Anyone?

Being mobile offers convenience. It is a chance to showcase identity. From mobile phones to cars and PlayStation consoles, men love their toys. Transform his space or toy for a lasting smile. Find out what he has and buy complementary accessories for one or all. 

4. Opt for Outfits

As the adage goes, looking good is good business. Power dressing has come to stay in this century and men are not playing in this department. Again, this is why men’s clothing remains a gift that will never go out of fashion (pun intended). From shirts to suits and native attires, there is a long list of exciting fashion items to gift that special man. 

5. Try Fitness 

Health is important for the forward-thinking man. In the spirit of men’s month, gifting him along these lines is definitely a good idea. There are options like therapy time, physical fitness membership and networking conferences to pick from. These are affordable yet thoughtful gifts to keep his stress levels down and make him a star at work. 

Now you can do something for the men in your life and make them smile like the bird that swallowed the canary. Share this article with friends and look out for the next one. Have a great week!  

The post For the Men You Love appeared first on Hermaze | Relationship, Beauty, Fashion, Family Articles for Women.