Marriage is a beautiful Institution: A covenant between two individuals who have decided to stay committed to one another. However, the success of this union depends largely on who you marry. Getting it right in your choice of a spouse determines how far you would go in life. Everyone seem to be on the lookout for several traits that personally suit them. We should know that these traits vary from person to person. There are some essential traits one should consider before choosing whom to marry
1. Well Behaved/Good Character
The importance of marrying a well behaved man/woman cannot be over-emphasized. Looks will fade, but one important key to keeping your home and ensuring your marriage stands the test of time is good character. Good manners and behaviour helps you relate better with your spouse, in-laws, friends, neighbours and associates. One not well brought up with the right attitude can wreck the marriage.
2. Emotional Stability
Whoever you decide to marry should exercise self-control. He/she should know how and when to react and the ability to control such reactions during/after heated arguments. Your spouse should be consistent not volatile. During courtship, when you find yourself struggling to predict your partner’s mood and responses; when you are constantly asking “what is wrong? Why are you frowning? Please talk to me” etc. you may end up carrying the burden of your partner’s moods if you get married to the person. Living with this in marriage could be frustrating and tiring. Such a partner may end up a more difficult person after a few months together.
3. Intellectual Challenge
Marriage to a smart person is interesting. Look for that one person who challenges you and makes you better. Someone who can hold a conversation: such that your conversation with your spouse will be smart, interesting, and insightful. You both will be able to make informed brainy decisions that will enable your progress in marriage.
Look away from the “ohhs and ahhs” of the emotions. Get yourself someone who has a drive, one who knows where he/she is headed: asides from supporting your dreams, one who also should have a future mapped out and not rely on you for a fulfilling life. The ambitious drive will see him/her constantly evolving and improving overtime. This will reduce the likelihood of total dependence on you.
Your spouse should relate with you. He/she should know when you are down and in need of encouragement. When you marry someone, you should make sure they can show compassion and support towards others and their struggles, including yours. You will have low days and will feel upset, however your partner should know how to get you out of such moods ensuring you get your groove back.
When both partners are concerned about each other’s moods, state of health and feelings, the relationship will last long. A healthy relationship focuses on giving not taking. Your partner’s happiness should be priority. Seeing him/her smile should equally do same to you. Your joy should be her joy. If you two go into marriage with this mindset, your marriage will be the envy of all.
You should be honest about everything. There shouldn’t be that one thing you feel scared to confide in your partner. He/she should give you a conducive relationship were trust can thrive. Without honesty, trust and belief wouldn’t exist in the relationship. Also, lack of trust and honesty may result into jealousy. A jealous partner may wreck havoc in the relationship. Trust and honesty builds security in the relationship.
8. Self Control
Ideally, people should exercise self-control. Self-control is a virtue very essential in marriage. It will help check excesses and prevent unnecessary arguments, disagreements and fights. It helps you love and forgive in marriage.
Something about your partner should keep you glued to him/her. This can either be the physical features, body appearance, smile, physique or dress sense. One should not because of delay, societal or family pressures rush into the relationship. The attraction will keep and help you stay in your relationship.
10. Family Background
The family background plays a major role in determining how far the marriage will go. It is what you have that you give. Your family and what is obtainable in the family were you come from has a huge impact on your marriage. The family is a child’s first social unit, whatever you see in your family/parents marriage is what you will take as the ideal. Make sure your partner’s family upholds high morals and value because this will affect your marriage too.
11. Role Model
There should be that person/persons your partner looks up to. A person of noble character who has carved a niche for himself/herself. One your partner has regard for and holds in high esteem. Differences will always occur, this person will be able to call you to order. Having a role model shows that you are accountable to someone.
Most importantly, a partner who fears and believes in God, upright in his ways, and indeed abides in the lord will make the best spouse of all time.