Several things have been known to be the root cause of crisis in the marriage. Crisis if not dealt with may totally lead to the end of the marriage. Though the reason for marital breakdown varies, below are some of the reasons which can be avoided if given serious attention.
Most people think they are ready for the institution of marriage whereas, the reverse is the case. Usually marriage is for adults, some people have concluded that an advancement in age ordinarily equals the title adult. People have termed adulthood to begin from age 27, however what they have failed to realise is one may be older in age and not emotionally and psychologically matured. One major consideration in marriage is character: getting married to an older person who behaves like a child/baby would automatically wreck the marriage. Most people would rather dedicate a considerable number of years in the university acquiring formal education but would pay little or no attention to getting properly groomed and informed about marriage which lasts a lifetime.
Attention Span during Courtship
The period of courtship is the time when you get to know who you intend to marry. Every detail counts. During this period you get to know all you decide to know about your partner. Open your eyes to every attitude, character, belief, behaviour etc, discuss whatever you see/notice and you don’t seem comfortable with, thrash issues and deal with them as they come. Do not just be all about the chumminess and mushiness. Look and sincerely know who your partner is. If you decide that you’re comfortable with his/her character/attitude you can go ahead with the relationship. If you can’t accommodate his/her imperfections, it is best you end the relationship as fast as possible to prevent a case of suffering and smiling in marriage, as the saying goes, a broken relationship is better than a broken home.
There is a need to be honest and open. Hold nothing back, give no room to doubt of any kind. Cutting corners breeds betrayal and mistrust which could be very harmful to the relationship. Dishonesty results into marital breakdown.
Some people have failed to come to know that children come from God. Your partners/spouses do not manufacture children all by themselves. In the case of Infertility, couples are advised to seek medical counsel, take the necessary tests and get help where needed. Do not go about blaming your spouse for infertility thereby putting a strain on the marriage.
Sickle Cell Anaemia Disease
The Importance of knowing your genotype before marriage cannot be over emphasised. To prevent a case of having a child with the SS genotype which could ultimately cause a breakdown in the marriage, it is highly essential to get tested. Let go of all the mushy feelings and deal with the future. Not only will a sickle cell anaemia disease affect the home financially (one would have to always seek medical help for the child in the case of a crisis), but also psychologically, emotionally, physically and mentally. This is one of the reasons of marital breakdown.
Marriage isn’t child’s play. It is very essential that you figure out the real person behind who you choose to marry. Beauty fades, love will not always remain. The character/attitude of who you marry will keep you going. Be sure to marry someone who you can live with, someone whose excesses you can accommodate. If you do otherwise, there sure will be issues in the home. One with whom you can easily resolve issues. When you keep allowing issues go unresolved it begins to pile up, then it will get to that explosion point –at that time you both wouldn’t be able to stand each other, leading to a marital crisis. This, often lead some people to seek gratifications outside the home.
Third Party Interference
It is no news that marriage is a three-fold cord involving you, your spouse and God. No one should be wholly involved in your matter. Don’t give people the permission to speak cruelty to your spouse regardless of his/her offence. People tend to be judgemental and they begin to relate with him/her on that basis even after the differences are settled.
Also when you begin to involve people in your affairs, they begin to give certain advice which may be detrimental to your home and cause a marital breakdown on the long run.
This is one of the foundation on which a successful home is built. Never stop communicating with your partner. In doing this, you tend to quickly sort out your differences. Do not hold a grudge because your partner offends you, talk about issues as they come up. When you decide to keep to yourself for longer than three days, gradually you begin to drift apart from each other hence breeding contempt in your home.
Due to experiences from past/failed relationships, some people tend to go around with some misconceptions that can ruin the home. Several people go into marriage with the hurts and pain from their previous relationships, they even begin to judge their partners based on the eventualities of their past. Some spouses still hang on to their previous relationships and as such begin to compare it to their marriage. Nobody deserves such treatments. This puts so much pressure on your marriage and at the risk of a marital breakdown. Soon enough, your partner would begin to loose his/her self-confidence. Ultimately leading to the end of the marriage.
Lack of Initimacy
Get initimate with your partner. It doesn’t always have to be about sex always. You can take her on a surprise date, show up at his/her office with a gift unannounced, take him/her out to lunch etc. Intimacy drives the marriage, it keeps the flames of love burning.